Page 64 - Education Supplement February 2026

EDITORIAL

Saying stop to bullying

and meaning it

ullying rarely looks the way people expect Giving children tools, not labels
it to. It is not always loud or physical. More A central theme of the book is empowerment. Rather than
Boften, it is quiet, relational and carefully positioning children as passive recipients of harm, Louise focuses on
hidden. For many children and teenagers, restoring agency.
particularly those who are neurodivergent or
emotionally vulnerable, its effects can last long Many children who are bullied carry a sense of shame. They
after the school years are over. internalise what is happening and assume there must be something
wrong with them. This often stops them from asking for help.
That reality sits at the heart of Stop Bullying
Me!, a book by South African author and Stop Bullying Me! addresses this directly. It gives children practical
child advocate Louise Elsa. Written for young language to name what is happening, strategies for stopping
people aged 11 to 18, the book is designed harmful interactions, and guidance on who to approach for support.
to give children and teens the language, This might be a parent, teacher, counsellor or another trusted adult.
understanding and practical tools they need to
recognise bullying and respond safely. Louise is also realistic. Standing up to a bully does not always
bring immediate change. In those cases, the book explains how to
Louise’s work is grounded in years of hands-on document behaviour, seek support and escalate concerns in ways
experience with children through counselling, that do not place the child at further risk.
play therapy and divorce-care programmes.
Again and again, she noticed the same Why bystanders matter
pattern. Children dealing with emotional Another important focus of the book is the role of bystanders. Louise
disruption at home were often being targeted points out that bullying thrives in isolation. It is easy to target one
at school as well. child. It becomes far more difficult when others speak up.

When bullying hides in plain sight She encourages children, particularly those with strong
One of the strengths of Stop Bullying Me! is personalities, to form advocacy groups where appropriate. When
its focus on bullying that is easily missed multiple learners report the same behaviour, schools are forced to
or minimised. This includes exclusion, take notice and respond.
manipulation, humiliation and gaslighting,
behaviours that can be deeply damaging yet This approach also addresses a challenge faced by many schools.
difficult to prove. When every disagreement is labelled as bullying, serious cases can
be drowned out. By helping children understand what bullying is
Louise explains that bullying is rarely carried out and what it is not, the book supports clearer reporting and more
in front of adults. It often happens just out of effective intervention.
sight, leaving children feeling powerless when
they try to report it. Without witnesses, it quickly
becomes one child’s word against another’s.

The book helps young readers understand
the difference between conflict, teasing and
bullying. Conflict, she explains, is a normal part
of growing up. Bullying is intentional, repeated
and aimed at making someone feel smaller or
less worthy.

If both children are laughing, it may be teasing.
If one child is hurt and the behaviour continues,
it is bullying and it needs to be addressed.