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TODAY'S CHILD





                                 When I initially came across this concept, I was
                                 sceptical - I saw it as another new-aged philosophy.
                                 But once I got over the well-marketed phrasing of
                                 the name and started to explore the lessons and
                                 teachings, I was blown away.




                                       here is no handbook for raising children   and self-doubt so they are free to be exactly
                                       and yet the process to get a tertiary   who they need to be.
                                       qualification, a driver’s license or
                                 Tmarried requires time and money spent   Unfortunately, many of us have come from
                                 in preparation to attain these things. Anyone   families and cultures where children are seen,
                                 can have children, regardless of their education,   not heard, and the perception is that they need
                                 wealth or status. So how do we create a world   to be taught how to change their behaviour into
                                 that is favourable for children to be born into and   something that will suit the ideals and lifestyles
                                 what are the principles to live by?    the adults want. From past generations to today,
                                                                        the cycle continues . . .
                                 This is where Conscious Parenting comes in. It
                                 is first and foremost a deep look into ourselves,   What if we changed our perspective from
                                 not as parents, but as individuals. With our past,   command-and-control and tapped into the
                                 our behaviours, our habitual patterns and our   wisdom that children can offer us? If we give
                                 upbringing, can we raise children to be self-  them a chance, they can remind us of some of
                                 aware, independent and generally good people?   the most valuable lessons in life - like how to
                                 The answer is yes, but it takes work - inner   love unconditionally (nobody does that better
                                 work.                                  than a child), how to be present (children have
                                                                        not learnt how to worry about the past and
                                 I’ve outlined 3 important concepts of what it   future), and how to live with a sense of ease and
                                 means to be a Conscious Parent. These might   confidence that only comes from embracing our
                                 be completely contrary to what you think and will   true creative nature.
                                 challenge you as they did me. But to see things
                                 clearly, we first need to clean and demystify our   LOVE LESS
                                 lens that views the world.             Who doesn’t love holding a new-born baby?
                                                                        Having something in our arms that is so
                                 DO LESS                                innocent and fragile connects to a very primal
                                 As parents, we - more often than not - want to   force within us - the need to nurture and/ or to
                                 give our children a better life than what we have,   leave a legacy.
                                 or had, so we give more of our time, money and
                                 energy, and we consider ourselves fortunate to   Love is something that is often misunderstood.
                                 be able to do this, to give the next generation a   We may have cravings for security, or the need
                                 better footing in life. The intentions are always   to feel needed. Flattery, or infatuation may be
                                 good and pure, but sometimes we are blinded   misinterpreted. Perhaps it was from a need to
                                 by the fear, hurt or lack we experienced, so we   be loved that we smother, or from a need to be
                                 overcompensate in our actions. Ultimately, the   heard that we become overbearing, or from a
                                 best thing any parent can do for their child(ren)   need for power that we become the dictators
                                 is to give them the space to unfold and discover   in our homes, or perhaps from a traumatic
                                 who they are, what they are passionate about   childhood that we lash out - and all this in the
                                 and where they can serve. Of course, the major   name of love. Perhaps if we had to love a little
                                 challenge here is that we, as parents, are not   less, we could create some space between our
                                 fully actualised. Many of us are still bound by   inner-demons and our children. After all, our
                                 past conditionings and a narrow view of the   children are not our property.
                                 world. This is one of the main causes of conflict
                                 between parents and children. Parenting is   We have done well as a parent when our
                                 not about doing lots of things for our kids. It is   children learn to become responsible for
                                 about being an example and mentor, allowing   themselves.
                                 them to make mistakes, and learn accountability
                                 and responsibility, because this is what makes   Conscious parenting is a purposeful journey
                                 pleasant, trustworthy, self-motivated people.   of recognising and overcoming our fears
                                 The more we do for them, the less they can.  and failures, and then becoming a more
                                                                        complete and fulfilled person whilst bringing
                                 TEACH LESS                             up and supporting our children to then
                                 Children are born mostly unhindered and   become complete and fulfilled people in
                                 naturally curious even though science has   turn.
                                 discovered that there are certain neuro-chemical
                                 traits that new-borns inherit from their parents,   All the best on your journey. If you have any
                                 along with experiences from the mother during   questions or wish to explore this concept further,
 BY MICHELLE L RAYMOND           pregnancy. But all things going well, babies are   feel free to contact me at:
                                 generally incredibly tuned in to themselves and   michelle@achievegreatness.co.za or visit
                                 the environment. They have not learned fear   www.achievegreatness.co.za.

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