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TODAY'S CHILD
When I initially came across this concept, I was
sceptical - I saw it as another new-aged philosophy.
But once I got over the well-marketed phrasing of
the name and started to explore the lessons and
teachings, I was blown away.
here is no handbook for raising children and self-doubt so they are free to be exactly
and yet the process to get a tertiary who they need to be.
qualification, a driver’s license or
Tmarried requires time and money spent Unfortunately, many of us have come from
in preparation to attain these things. Anyone families and cultures where children are seen,
can have children, regardless of their education, not heard, and the perception is that they need
wealth or status. So how do we create a world to be taught how to change their behaviour into
that is favourable for children to be born into and something that will suit the ideals and lifestyles
what are the principles to live by? the adults want. From past generations to today,
the cycle continues . . .
This is where Conscious Parenting comes in. It
is first and foremost a deep look into ourselves, What if we changed our perspective from
not as parents, but as individuals. With our past, command-and-control and tapped into the
our behaviours, our habitual patterns and our wisdom that children can offer us? If we give
upbringing, can we raise children to be self- them a chance, they can remind us of some of
aware, independent and generally good people? the most valuable lessons in life - like how to
The answer is yes, but it takes work - inner love unconditionally (nobody does that better
work. than a child), how to be present (children have
not learnt how to worry about the past and
I’ve outlined 3 important concepts of what it future), and how to live with a sense of ease and
means to be a Conscious Parent. These might confidence that only comes from embracing our
be completely contrary to what you think and will true creative nature.
challenge you as they did me. But to see things
clearly, we first need to clean and demystify our LOVE LESS
lens that views the world. Who doesn’t love holding a new-born baby?
Having something in our arms that is so
DO LESS innocent and fragile connects to a very primal
As parents, we - more often than not - want to force within us - the need to nurture and/ or to
give our children a better life than what we have, leave a legacy.
or had, so we give more of our time, money and
energy, and we consider ourselves fortunate to Love is something that is often misunderstood.
be able to do this, to give the next generation a We may have cravings for security, or the need
better footing in life. The intentions are always to feel needed. Flattery, or infatuation may be
good and pure, but sometimes we are blinded misinterpreted. Perhaps it was from a need to
by the fear, hurt or lack we experienced, so we be loved that we smother, or from a need to be
overcompensate in our actions. Ultimately, the heard that we become overbearing, or from a
best thing any parent can do for their child(ren) need for power that we become the dictators
is to give them the space to unfold and discover in our homes, or perhaps from a traumatic
who they are, what they are passionate about childhood that we lash out - and all this in the
and where they can serve. Of course, the major name of love. Perhaps if we had to love a little
challenge here is that we, as parents, are not less, we could create some space between our
fully actualised. Many of us are still bound by inner-demons and our children. After all, our
past conditionings and a narrow view of the children are not our property.
world. This is one of the main causes of conflict
between parents and children. Parenting is We have done well as a parent when our
not about doing lots of things for our kids. It is children learn to become responsible for
about being an example and mentor, allowing themselves.
them to make mistakes, and learn accountability
and responsibility, because this is what makes Conscious parenting is a purposeful journey
pleasant, trustworthy, self-motivated people. of recognising and overcoming our fears
The more we do for them, the less they can. and failures, and then becoming a more
complete and fulfilled person whilst bringing
TEACH LESS up and supporting our children to then
Children are born mostly unhindered and become complete and fulfilled people in
naturally curious even though science has turn.
discovered that there are certain neuro-chemical
traits that new-borns inherit from their parents, All the best on your journey. If you have any
along with experiences from the mother during questions or wish to explore this concept further,
BY MICHELLE L RAYMOND pregnancy. But all things going well, babies are feel free to contact me at:
generally incredibly tuned in to themselves and michelle@achievegreatness.co.za or visit
the environment. They have not learned fear www.achievegreatness.co.za.
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