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today's child

social distancing. Some children and teens
will have communicated with their friends
through social media, while others will
have had little contact. As peer groups are
important for teens, this may have resulted
in some teens lacking the social support
they ordinarily would have received, to
assist them in managing stress.
With the increase in communication via
social media, the escalation of bullying
has also been seen. Children who are not
familiar with the do’s and don’ts of social
media communication have been thrown
into the deep end of navigating an
online world and identity, which is often
ahead of their developmental stage.
Teens, who have crafted out a bigger
social media presence since lockdown,
may have an inflated sense of self and
identity. Such teens may be prone to
bullying others due to their exaggerated
self-importance and lack of ‘normal’
counterbalancing activities within
the school and sports environments.
Online grandiosity is a result of modern
technology and was present pre-COVID
but the sport and school environments
• Boundary crossing: Online schooling sense of reliance on adults to be able have previously assisted in restoring the
has brought about a previously to keep them safe may be in need of balance. For example, teens who become
unanticipated ‘boundary crossing’. reassurance. over-confident because of their online
Children and teens, depending on presence are quickly brought down to
where they do their online schooling, Attending school has also become size when they do not get selected for
be it at the dining room table or in something they can no longer rely on the team or when peers outshine them
their bedroom, cannot control who because one day they can go and the next in the science test. These ‘behind the
enters their home or their private space. they are not allowed to. scenes’ balancing activities at school
Whether we realise it or not, some and in sports create more stable and
children and teens do not want the class • Transitions: As public schools had to competent children going into society.
or the teacher to have access to their close and August holidays commenced
private lives. Teachers and friends may for private schools, the usual preparation Within the private and public schooling
enter rooms or private spaces without that would have happened (with all the systems, inequalities have been high-
the children or teens being able to deny learners in the country), for their transition lighted in terms of internet access as
access. The same goes for teachers. With into the next term, will be lacking. This will well as access to devices. Concerns have
online schooling, teachers are teaching be particularly challenging for children been raised regarding teasing, resulting
from their homes, which implies a starting school at the end of 2020, moving from what device your child has taken
boundary of privacy has been crossed from primary to high school and for to school. In extreme cases, bullying has
for which there was no choice given and those leaving school. Those teens who reared its ugly head as children from more
no permission granted. The online realm are approaching the end of their school financially able parents find it acceptable
has provided us all with a glimpse into time and face the impact of exam results, to comment on or even bully children with
the private lives of people, which we employment opportunities and admissions less expensive or older laptops, tablets or
need to acknowledge and navigate, very to tertiary institutions will find these all cell phones.
respectfully. hanging in the balance. Where schools
once represented stability and structure, • Leaving children to their own devices.
• Insecurity: Uncertainty has become these transitions have unbalanced the As adults, we can attest to how difficult it is
our ‘go to’ approach. One day we feel we system which means we need to work to disconnect from work in the digital age.
know what’s happening, the next day the proactively with the school system to assist It is no different for children. With many
lockdown confusion hits us again. What children in gaining stability again. schools going virtual, it is crucial to help
are we allowed to do and with whom? In create clear boundaries and ‘end times’
‘normal’ life, rules and structure provide • Friendships and bullying: Children for where life begins and tech-time ends.
security for children. But their level of and teens have been kept away from We are placed in a double bind, where
security and feelings of safety are being friends, relatives and people in general. we need to embrace technology while at
challenged. Parents who previously Attachment is a concept that we think of the same time moderate its dominance.
lectured their children and behaved in law in terms of infancy but we are engaged in Children have difficulty in transitioning
abiding ways, have started transgressing attachment behaviours throughout our from using electronics to electronic-free
the rules laid down by government. lives. Teens have attachment relationships time. We need to help them give up their
This leaves developing young minds in with peers and significant adults which electronics for the day. Give a 10-minute
confusion. Which rules are ‘allowed’ to may have been strained or disrupted warning for when electronics are done and
be broken? Teens may lack confidence during lockdown. have them take up some activity straight
as they have seen adults struggle with after handing over their electronics to
uncertainty and argue about how to Friendships have taken strain during the keep them motivated to give them up. We
manage the crisis. Fundamentally, their extended lockdown including as a result of cannot expect children to hand over a fun

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