Page 34 - Dainfern Precinct Living 4 2021
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HUMOUR
relax and get used to the idea.” -
Robert A. Heinlein
“There is no psychiatrist in the world
like a puppy licking your face.” - Ben
Williams
“Whoever said you can’t buy
happiness forgot about little
puppies.” - Gene Hill
“Cat’s Motto: No matter what you’ve
done wrong, always try to make it
look like the dog did it.” - Unknown
“The average dog is a nicer person
than the average person.” - Andrew
A. Rooney
“Things that upset a terrier may pass
virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.”
- Smiley Blanton
TERRIERS, “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a
quickly vanishing look of amazed
contempt, and I am convinced that,
basically, dogs think humans are
NOT POODLES! nuts.” - John Steinbeck
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
Here’s another list – it’s a list of
BY JAMES CLARKE famous last words:
• Ah cute! I wonder where mummy
must have mentioned Maltese hence the constant popularity of lion is.
dogs in my column recently dogs.” - Aldous Huxley • What does this button do?
because the Lloyd family has • Are you sure the power is off?
emailed to say I must stop “In dog years, I’m dead.” - Unknown • The odds of that happening have to
Idescribing Maltese as poodles. “Did you ever walk into a room and be a million to one!
The Lloyds were reacting to forget why you walked in? I think that • Pull the pin and count to what?
something I wrote about Maltese is how dogs spend their lives.” - Sue • I’ve seen this done on TV.
dogs and asked me to correct a Murphy • These are the safe kind of
common belief that Maltese are mushrooms.
poodles. They are, the Lloyds say, “I loathe people who keep dogs. • I’ll hold it and you light the fuse.
terriers. They are cowards who haven’t got • This doesn’t taste right.
the guts to bite people themselves.” • Nice doggie.
“Poodles are in a class of their own, - August Strindberg • I can do that with my eyes closed.
both in intelligence and in agility,” • Duck? What duck?
says Renate Lloyd and she sent “Ever consider what they must think • That’s odd.
me this quote from Rita Rudner: I of us? I mean, here we come back • Don’t be so superstitious.
wonder if other dogs think poodles from a grocery store with the most • Now, watch this.
are members of a weird religious amazing haul - chicken, pork, half Ooooooooooooooooooo!
cult? a cow. They must think we’re the
greatest hunters on earth!” - Anne I love unintentional humour.
This was followed by a whole list of Tyler One often finds examples in
quotes about dogs: advertisements. Like these two
“Outside of a dog, a book is probably “Don’t accept your dog’s admiration newspaper advertisements for
man’s best friend, and inside of a as conclusive evidence that you are charity events:
dog, it’s too dark to read.” - Groucho wonderful.” - Ann Landers Alzheimer’s Centre - Tonight’s film:
Marx “An Affair to Remember”.
“Women and cats will do as they Tonight’s Talk: “Leprosy in the 20th
“To his dog, every man is Napoleon; please and men and dogs should Century”. Finger supper will follow.
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