Page 46 - Dainfern Precinct Living June 2022

Today's Child

b. Contraception – this is vitally and guardians who refuse to believe
important for both boys and girls, a child who says she (or he) has been
not only to prevent unwanted raped. Paedophiles go out of their
pregnancies, but to protect your way to ingratiate themselves within
teen from sexually-transmitted a community. Parents may think
diseases. they are the nicest people on the
planet. And the paedophiles often
c. Reputation. This is a tricky one place themselves in positions of
because peer pressure can be a trust, where, even for the briefest
huge influence on the choices that time, they may have unsupervised
teens make. It’s important for teens access to kids. Strangely, if a kid has
to understand that friends come been acting out, a parent might
and go – and just because the kid’s side with the perpetrator, thinking
current best friend decided to have that their daughter is merely a
sex with some random person and drama queen seeking attention
lose their virginity, it doesn’t mean (which she may well be for more
that’s the right choice for your teen. sinister reasons) or that their son
Losing your virginity is kind of like is a disruptive rabble-rouser who
jumping out of a plane without a needs more discipline. In blended
parachute – there’s no going back. households, where there’s a step-
You can’t ask for it back. Once it’s parent and step-siblings who are
gone, it’s gone. It’s the same with always around, your kids might be
getting a bad reputation – it’s the scared to speak up. They may feel
kind of thing that’s very difficult to there’s never a right time to talk
shake once it becomes entrenched about an incident that happened
in people’s minds or (worse) once because the person that was the
it’s gone viral via Social Media. transgressor is always within earshot.

d. The result of bad choices. As this The biological parent might regard the
article focuses on teen pregnancy, kid’s complaint as a form of jealously,
one has to acknowledge that rather than the reality of what’s going
having a girl-child fall pregnant on in the home. To help you navigate
when she’s too young ruins lives – through the morass, one suggestion that
whether the choice is for her to get might help, is to agree on a private code
an abortion or to follow through word with each of your kids – something
and give birth. A child between that they wouldn’t normally do or like
the ages of 10 (as indicated by the – and get them to send you a message
research reports) and 16 will lose on your phone eg. if your kid is allergic
out significantly on educational and to dairy products, they might send a
career opportunities. Choosing to message saying, “Mum, please can we
keep and raise a child when you’re go for a milkshake?” It will have to be
only a child yourself is definitely something that will trigger an alarm
life-changing in a negative way. bell when you see it, and also remind
there won’t be any interruptions, It’s more than that – it’s a huge you that you need to take your kid
there’s a reasonable amount of tragedy. It’s understandable that out of the situation to neutral territory
privacy and your kid is willing to most girls who fall pregnant at this where the two of you can have a private
pay attention and chat about the young age range would have been conversation.
topic. either raped or coerced into having
intercourse – but this is exactly why That said – in any event, having regular
These are the topics that you can parents have to be vigilant and one-on-one ‘dates’ with your kids,
consider talking openly about: equip their kids with the knowledge much like ‘date nights’ for couples, can
a. Sexual health and how your of how to avoid (this would be the go a long way towards establishing a
tween’s body will change, first prize) or get out of danger. foundation where they feel secure and
including how to cope with loved. This may also be an excellent
pimples and acne, personal e. Where to get help. This last point way of setting your kids up for success –
hygiene, and, for the girls, how may well be one of the most difficult whether it’s in terms of their sexual and
to cope with those awful mood to tackle. Even in this enlightened moral behaviour, or their progress at
swings every month! day and age, there are still parents school.

REFERENCES
https://www.gov.za/speeches/prevent-teenage-pregnancy-%C2%A0-1-mar-2022-0000
https://www.samrc.ac.za/news/teenage-pregnancy-during-covid-19-south-africa-double-pandemic
https://reliefweb.int/report/south-africa/teen-pregnancies-south-africa-jump-60-during-covid-19-pandemic
https://choma.co.za/articles/22/what-is-statutory-rape
https://www.lawforall.co.za/family-relationships/sexual-consent-in-south-africa/

44 DPL issue 5 2022