Page 40 - Dainfern Precinct Living Issue 6 July 2024

HUMOUR

THE GOWN OF

HUMILIATION

B Y J AMES CLARKE

Some hospitals just haven’t got it. Sensitivity, I mean.

uthor, Janet Hurst- Janet described the embarrassment for a small gap and everyone who
Nicholson, tells of having to answer all the medical walked past looked in and gave me a
me how she went questions within the hearing of the friendly smile and some asked if I was
to have a mole audience. “Fortunately I don’t have OK. And there I sat, and sat.”
removed but had any embarrassing conditions but I did
to take everything hear a few from others and I was able “To make matters worse, I now had
off and put on to compare my blood pressure with nothing to read. There weren’t even
Aone of those everyone else’s.” any posters; not even instructions
gowns that are specially designed to on the various mysterious machines.
humiliate. To begin with, they tie up “I had taken a pen, crossword and Just a cupboard marked ‘Blankets’. I
at the back but no matter how you tie glasses and was happily filling in the was going to meditate but I knew if I
them you know your backside is on answers when they took me off in closed my eyes they’d ask, even more
view and there you are in the out- the wheelchair and said I would be in earnestly, if I was all right.”
patients’ area filled with people who the theatre waiting area for about 10
have nothing better to do that watch. minutes. They curtained me off except “The 10 minutes went to about 15 and
they were bringing people back from
the theatre. Then the doctor came
to explain there would be a delay of
another 20 minutes - which would
entail sitting staring at the curtain.
Eventually someone took pity on me
and brought me a newspaper – but I
didn’t have my glasses!”
I can certainly sympathise. In the past,
I have, a few times, had to wear that
Gown of Humiliation. The gown was
designed in mediaeval times when
convicted witches were forced to
parade in them.

And I too have sat in a small cubicle
with only the curtain to look at – and
experienced an acute dose of stage
fright. I could hear a large crowd
outside and dreaded the curtain being
pulled aside and having to face the
public in my vestal virgin outfit.

When eventually my curtain call came,
there, a metre away, was a well-
known business leader on a stretcher.
That, I thought, was even worse – to
lay there looking up at the throng.
I thought of greeting him but then
I would have had to ask, “How are
you?” which would have been a silly
question seeing he was lying on his
back waiting for somebody to stick a
knife in him. And he would have had
to ask me how I was and with all these
people around I would have had to
tell him of my imminent undignified
procedure.

I’ve never been lucky enough to be
in for, for instance, an interesting
compound fracture.

38 DPL issue 6 2024