Page 38 - FWG 7 August 2020.indd

Humour

THE OLDEST GAME ON EARTH

B Y JAMES CLARKE

olf is an exceptionally ancient “Hey this is fun,” said Og. “But how about a Certainly, the Scots turned the game around
game. It goes back well before game in which teams kick a big leather ball. by using balls made of skin and twine,
Gary Player. In fact, it goes back We could call it soccer?” which were softer, and aiming for holes
Gto the time of the knuckle- somewhat smaller than warthog burrows. Africa’s Largest Selection of Patio Furniture & Accessories

dragging man-apes. “It’ll never catch on,” said Ug. They also turned the name around – ‘flog’
was spelt backwards to become ‘golf’. It's
Three or four million years ago our ancestors And so a kind of game was born. It was, at amazing how few people know this.

were forced out of Africa’s receding forests rst, no more than ‘hunt-the-stone’ and it
and on to the plains. To see over the top sometimes entailed attening the veld by From here on the history of the game is more

of the grass they were compelled to stand ogging the eye-level grass using these accurately documented. Encyclopaedia

upright - the rst step towards being able funny sticks. The game became known as Britannica says that by the mid-1400s
to play golf. ‘ og’. James II decreed that “Golfe be utterly cried

down” because it was rivalling archery as an
Their only weapon in this new landscape If, of course, a stone went down a hole, outdoor pastime and archery was necessary
which, as one can imagine, was picked over then quite often, there it had to stay. The for the defence of the realm.

by some pretty mean creatures, was a club. oggers soon realised they needed lots of
A club: the second step had been achieved. little white stones. This now became the job Some say the game originated in Holland
of the women because, after all, collecting or Belgium and grew out of the game of
One day a man-ape, Ug Blainkenthorpe (not little white stones was, strictly-speaking, chole. Chole was a cross-country game in
his real name) picked up a stick intending to ‘gathering’ and, therefore, in this hunter- which opposing sides set o to hit their ball

use it as a club for hitting small mammals gatherer society it fell into the women's across many kilometres to a target such as
and people he didn't like. However, it was department. a church door. After one side had played
too whippy for hunting. But he liked the three strokes the other side had the right
stick and he pondered over it for some time One day Og said to Ug, “Maybe it will be to hit their opponents' ball into the nearest
before an idea struck him. more fun if we deliberately aim for holes hazard - even over a cli .
to see who can sink their stone in the least
He used it to hit small, round, white stones. number of strokes.” This, today, could result in temper tantrums.
He watched in fascination as the stones

ew o into the distance. Flog, when all is considered, has not It might be signi cant that the Scots

improved much beyond this although bought their balls from Holland until
Then he and his friend, Og Willisden, (as an cutting the grass was a useful step. James II curbed the trade because ‘no small
historian I must warn some authorities say quantitie’ of gold and silver was being spent
his name was spelt Willisdon), spent many Sports historians - ignorant of the foregoing on their purchase.
hours hunting for these beautiful pebbles - generally believe that it was the Scots who www.patiowarehouse.co.za | 087 825 1120
and, being hunters, they enjoyed this invented the game around the 1300s. That I gave up golf many years ago after the
immensely. is what is written in some history books. primeval thrill of hunting for balls grew thin. Centurion - 012 657 9400 | Randburg - 011 801 0820 | Cape Town - 021 526 7240

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Fourways Gardens • 36 • August 2020