Page 33 - Fourways Gardens September 2021

Today’s Child

• Build relationships early on with your
children. Yet another study showed that
sensitive caregiving in the first three years
is fundamental to creating a secure base
for children to explore the world and
learn. Early investments will result in long
term returns.

• Stress less. Your stress levels can directly
impact on your children. A concept called
‘emotional contagion’ is a psychological
phenomenon where people catch
feelings from one another. Therefore, as
a parent, if you are tired and frustrated,
that emotional state could transfer to your
children.

• Don’t be a helicopter parent**. This style
of parenting inadvertently disempowers
your child. Let them explore. Let them
make mistakes. Let them learn.

• Value effort over failure. Decades of
studies at Stanford University found that
children think about success in one of two
ways, either with a fixed mind-set, which
assumes that intelligence, creativity and
character are all static and can’t change in
a meaningful way; or with a growth mind-
iSTOCK: Choreograph set, which thrives on challenges and sees
failure not as evidence of intelligence but
those with limited social skills. Conversely, Pierre Snyder. This trait describes an as a way to grow and learn new skills. To
limited social skills present a higher individual’s ability to innovate and disrupt explain this practically, if children are told
risk of reckless behaviour, resulting in in complex, open and people-intensive that they did well in a test because they
binge drinking, or using drugs and being environments, with feedback loops and are clever, this creates a fixed mind-set.
arrested. unintended consequences. Encourage If they are told they did well because of
your children to break challenges down effort, it nurtures a growth mind-set. This
• Set higher expectations of them. This into a set of questions; to think about each could be a vital differentiating factor.
talks to the Pygmalion effect, which one through various perspectives; and to
states that what one person expects find answers from experts. • Teach grit. Grit is basically resilience. It
of another can come to serve as a self- can be defined as a ‘tendency to sustain
fulfilling prophecy. Basically, this means • Focus on healthy relationships at home. interest in an effort aimed at very long-
that expectations parents hold for their Research shows that children brought term goals’. The idea is to teach children to
children have a huge effect on them up in high conflict homes tend to fare commit to the future they want to create.
attaining goals. We are certainly not worse than children with parents that get
promoting undue pressure being placed along. Conflict is destabilising and creates Parenting is dynamic and ever-changing, so
on children, but it is about visualising a insecurity and doubt in young minds. be adaptable. Try to parent actively rather
future state and then encouraging them than passively – it could set your child on
to work towards that. The goal posts • Teach maths early. A study of 35 000 the path to success.
may move, but moving forward and not pre-schoolers showed that developing
standing still is the point. maths skills such as numbers and number Sources:
orders, puzzles and basic concepts early Ted Talk – “How to Raise an Adult”
https://www.inc.com/patricia-fletcher/7-ways-to-raise-the-next-
• Complexity is the future so future on can turn into a huge advantage. This generation-of-innovators.html
** A helicopter parent is a parent who pays extremely close
success may be determined by a person’s will benefit both their maths and reading attention to a child’s experiences and problems, particularly
at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named
complexipacity, a word coined by David skills. because, like helicopters, they ‘hover’, overseeing every aspect of
their child’s life constantly. Wikipedia.
Fourways Gardens • 31 • September 2021