Page 27 - FWG_Issue 2_March_2022

Today's Child

• Logic: In talking through a problem, your reliant on you to help them work things The question you may now ask is: “How do I
child will learn to break down a situation out. teach this in the moment?”
into smaller parts or facts. This helps in • Resilience and coping skills: As previously
a conflict situation, for example, where discussed, conflict and challenges are part In an immediate situation, apply the
they learn to separate the facts from of life. These skills will equip your child concepts relating to action, lack of action,
the story so that only the facts are dealt to tackle problems head-on, instead of outcomes, or consequences. For example,
with. If it is a multifaceted problem, this shying away from them and letting a you can apply the skills of problem-solving
process breaks it up into smaller pieces molehill grow into a mountain. They will to a simple situation like your child leaving
that fit together so that they can think learn that there is a solution to every their toys in a mess. Address the situation
about each piece and then what they problem and everything turns out okay; by saying to your child: “Why are all your
would like to do to address it. They will maybe not exactly as they hoped, but life toys lying everywhere? What if someone
discover that, in most instances, the issue goes on nonetheless. trips over them and hurts themself or
is far smaller than they thought it was – • Consideration and empathy: If the accidentally stands on your toys and breaks
and much easier to resolve. problem involves others, your child them? That will make you sad, won’t it?
• Confidence: Once your child realises will learn to be empathetic. There are Please pack them away so that nothing
that they are in control and are capable two or more sides to many problematic bad can happen.” You’re dealing with the
of resolving something, they’ll start to situations, and by considering how the concepts of action, lack of action and
gain confidence. This will allow them other person thinks or feels – thinking consequences, all in a non-confrontational
to become more independent and less about their perspective or experience manner.
– your child will gain a heightened
sense of understanding, awareness and When a situation arises, calmly talk to
empathy. your child and help them to outline the
problem. Remember to avoid judgement.
EMPOWER THEM Don’t push hard for an outcome; rather
As a parent, your instinct is to solve let them rationalise what they may do
problems for your child. It is quicker and and guide them gently when they are off
easier, but you are not doing them any track. If they come up with a good idea or
favours – because they will need to acquire solution, praise them – this will empower
and apply the skill of problem-solving all them and make them feel proud of
through life, from childhood to adolescence themselves, knowing they are able to think
and on to adulthood. As with anything in of solutions, solve problems or think of the
life, this needs plenty of practice in different effect on others (the empathy previously
scenarios. mentioned).

Engaging in a constructive conversation
also creates a safe space for your child. It
builds trust, so your child will learn that
they can always come to you for guidance.

This approach can also be used in situations
where your child is misbehaving. Instead
of yelling at them and telling them they
are naughty, sit them down and start a
constructive conversation. Allow them
to think through why they are behaving
that way, knowing that it is wrong or
unacceptable.

Some of these situations may create strong
emotions – your child may feel scared, sad,
angry, frustrated or worried. Let them cry
or express their frustration so they get to
explore how they feel. Once the situation is
over, help them reflect on their choices and
the outcome and how it made them feel
afterwards.

Finally, remember that we learn a great deal
from making mistakes. It is how we manage
these situations that matters.

Fourways Gardens • 25 • March 2022