Page 32 - FWG Issue 2 March 2024

Today’s Child

distractibility, inattention, poor work ethic,
and poor performance. The assessments
usually pursue a diagnosis of ADHD or a
similar learning challenge.

However, very often, these assessments end
up revealing something else. Intelligent and
capable kids are stifled by a system that tries
to squish them into an ill-fitting box, leaving
them crippled with anxiety and low self-
esteem. And when the anxiety is tackled, the
children often thrive.

This often sits just under the surface during
the earlier years, and when grade four starts,
the wheels come off.

So, how can we help?
The most important thing we can do for our
kids is to be present enough to recognise the
signs, communicate with them, and make
them feel safe to communicate with us.
Awareness of your children’s mental health is
just as essential as physical health.

I am not a doctor or a psychologist. I am just
a teacher and a mom who dealt with these
issues on the ground and speaks from my
observations and experience. The extremely
high expectations and pressure on kids often
stood out to me. And grade four is where it they struggle to keep up with schoolwork them manage it and to recognise it. When
really rears its head for the first time. because their afternoons are full of karate they feel safe enough to discuss their feelings,
classes, horse riding, gymnastics, and they will also be open to letting you know
Parents are well-meaning. They want their swimming practice – the list goes on. While when the pressure is just too overwhelming,
kids to do well at school to set them up for these things are great outlets when done in and you can help them choose the activities
a bright future in a competitive world. We moderation, many kids are doing more than that give them an outlet and walk away from
want them to participate in team sports or one of these a day, getting home at supper the ones that smother them.
other sports and cultural activities to build time and then still trying to keep up with
character, create social bonds, and be ‘off school. We constantly push concepts like ‘don’t give
their screens.’ But it can be overwhelming and up,’ ‘stay committed’, and ‘don’t quit.’ While this
counterproductive. What they need are opportunities to engage serves a purpose and is a good attitude in
in hobbies that revitalise them and have no many cases, it’s about balance, self-care, and
Sometimes, they just need to be kids. I can expectations, to spend quality time with their knowing your limits. Keep your expectations
hardly count the times I’ve had a child in families, and to achieve the elusive work/ realistic, too. Not all children – even the
tears in my classroom because they are so life balance that we adults work so hard to brightest ones – are academic achievers. Still,
disappointed in a test result. And when I tried achieve. they should be supported and encouraged to
to reassure them and comfort them, their do their best rather than chase unattainable
response was along the lines of, ‘My parents Finding a balance results. With less pressure and anxiety, you
are going to kill me!’ We also want our children to grow up resilient may find they do better anyway and come
so they can handle life’s hard knocks. Trying to into their own once they are through the
I’ve had children experience full-blown panic avoid or eliminate the source of their anxiety system.
attacks. When we sit and chat, I discover that can disempower them. The key is to help
It’s also okay to admit that your choice of
school may no longer be the right fit. We
Parenting is not for sissies. It’s a fine line make these choices with the information
between firm encouragement and gentle we have at the time and always aim for the
best outcome. But sometimes, life shows us
support, wanting them to conquer the otherwise, and making a positive shift could
be life-changing.
world and helping them get through a day
Jacqueline Aitchison, Executive Head of
Education Incorporated Private School,

Fourways Gardens • 30 • March 2024