Page 19 - IFV_Issue 2_Feb_2022

Today’s Child

breaks it up into smaller pieces that • Resilience and coping skills: As accidentally stands on your toys and
fit together so that they can think previously discussed, conflict and breaks them? That will make you sad,
about each piece and then what they challenges are part of life. This skill will won’t it? Please pack them away so
would like to do to address it. They will equip your child to tackle problems that nothing bad can happen.” You’re
discover that, in most instances, the head-on, instead of shying away from dealing with the concepts of action, lack
issue is far smaller than they thought it them and letting a molehill grow into of action and consequences, all in a non-
was – and much easier to resolve. a mountain. They will learn that there confrontational manner.
• Confidence: Once your child realises is a solution to every problem and When a situation arises, calmly talk
that they are in control and are capable everything turns out okay; maybe not to your child and help them to outline
of resolving something, they’ll start to exactly as they hoped, but life goes on the problem. Remember to avoid
gain confidence. This will allow them nonetheless. judgement. Don’t push hard for an
to become more independent and • Consideration and empathy: If the outcome; rather let them rationalise
less reliant on you to help them work problem involves others, your child what they may do and guide them gently
things out. will learn to be empathetic. There are when they are off track. If they come up
two or more sides to many problematic with a good idea or solution, praise them
situations, and by considering how the – this will empower them and make
other person thinks or feels – thinking them feel proud of themselves, knowing
about their perspective or experience they are able to think of solutions, solve
– your child will gain a heightened problems or think of the effect on others
sense of understanding, awareness (the empathy previously mentioned).
and empathy. Engaging in a constructive
conversation also creates a safe space for
EMPOWER THEM your child. It builds trust, so your child will
As a parent, your instinct is to solve learn that they can always come to you
problems for your child. It is quicker for guidance.
and easier, but you are not doing them This approach can also be used
any favours – because they will need to in situations where your child is
acquire and apply the skill of problem misbehaving. Instead of yelling at them
solving all through life, from childhood and telling them they are naughty, sit
to adolescence and on to adulthood. As them down and start a constructive
with anything in life, this needs plenty of conversation. Allow them to think
practice in different scenarios. through why they are behaving that way,
The question you may now ask is: “How knowing that it is wrong or unacceptable.
do I teach this in the moment?” Some of these situations may create
In an immediate situation, apply strong emotions – your child may feel
the concepts relating to action, lack of scared, sad, angry, frustrated or worried.
action, outcomes, or consequences. Let them cry or express their frustration
For example, you can apply the skills of so they get to explore how they feel. Once
problem solving to a simple situation the situation is over, help them reflect on
like your child leaving their toys in a their choices and the outcome and how it
mess. Address the situation by saying made them feel afterwards.
to your child: “Why are all your toys Finally, remember that we learn a great
lying everywhere? What if someone deal from making mistakes. It is how we
trips over them and hurts themself or manage them that matters.

The Villager • Issue 2 2022 • 17