Page 26 - IFV_Issue 3_March_2022

FUNNY MONEY

BY JAMES CLARKE

ears ago I began hoarding when Monopoly was invented. One thing hasn't changed: if you land
Monopoly money in my sock Then, in the 1960s, came the South in jail you still stay for three rolls of the
Ydrawer – stealing a couple of African version and that's when Eloff dice which, in real life, is about what
hundred every time I played. I expected Street became fixed for the next 40 copper cable thieves get these days.
that by about 2020 Monopoly money years at R400 and Durban's Musgrave Who plays Monopoly? To be
would be worth more than the rand. Road at R60. sure, every night, every weekend,
Everybody said I was stupid. Ha! I was You received R10 for winning a beauty thousands of South Africans are bent
nearly right. contest. R10! Even members of the Post over their Monopoly boards pushing
The 70 year-old game of Monopoly Office Pilferers Union, if they found an around a little silver boot or silver
is about the only game that has not envelope with only R10 inside, would dog, battleship, car, top hat or flat
become dangerous. You know how it put it back. They have their standards. iron. Every evening, there are people
is – even kite-flying has become ultra- Players collected R200 each time they shaking the dice hoping and praying
physical these days with kites powerful completed a circuit of the board – unless, not to land on ‘Chance’ because they
enough to enable a man to make of course they picked up a card reading, know the card reading "make general
30m leaps into the air. Thirty metres! "Go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass repairs to all your houses" is about
That's about the height from which ‘BEGIN’ and do not collect R200". to come up and it now costs tens of
stockbrokers leap. But time has caught up with thousands of rands.
I have hardly played Monopoly Monopoly. In the new South African Until a few weeks ago ‘general repairs’
since my first childhood but, until very version you no longer get R200 for cost R40 a house. R40! The last time
recently, whenever I saw a board I was going past ‘Begin’ – instead you pick up I made a general repair to my (real)
filled with nostalgia. One could still buy R20 000 ‘salary’. house, when a cupboard door wouldn't
Eloff Street for R400 and Bloemfontein Eloff Street, unsurprisingly, is no close, the 4kg hammer alone cost more
Station remained at R200. longer worth R400. In fact, Eloff Street than that.
Among parlour games, Monopoly was is no longer on the board. It has been I was interested to read recently that
a faithful psychological landmark just as replaced by Clifton at R40 000. Musgrave Monopoly and Scrabble are still high
reassuring and timeless as the story of Road, which used to be the cheapest real among the most popular board games
Chicken Licken and the Reader's Digest estate on the board, has been replaced worldwide. They’ll be a century old in
on the toilet cistern. by Westville at R6 000. I was surprised to just over 10 years.
Some will remember how, in the see La Lucia among the next cheapest It brings to mind a cartoon I saw
original UK version, you could buy (R12 000) while Soweto on the other showing Santa Claus playing his
Mayfair (a posh London district) for £400 side of the board is R22 000 along reindeers at Scrabble. The reindeers were
and the cheapest property on the board with Boksburg and Hillbrow. Sandton impatiently raising their eyes asking him
was London's Whitechapel Road at £60. is the same as Randburg – R26 000. why he was hesitating. The word Santa
Those figures were decided in the 1930s (Sandtonians won't like that one bit.) had in front of him was ‘venison’!!

24 • Issue 3 2022 • The Villager