Page 19 - IFV Issue 3_2024

Today’s Child

mom who dealt with these issues on the ground and speaks from and ‘don’t quit.’ While this serves a purpose and is a good attitude
my observations and experience. The extremely high expectations in many cases, it’s about balance, self-care, and knowing your
and pressure on kids often stood out to me. And grade four is limits. Keep your expectations realistic, too. Not all children – even
where it really rears its head for the first time. the brightest ones – are academic achievers. Still, they should be
Parents are well-meaning. They want their kids to do well at supported and encouraged to do their best rather than chase
school to set them up for a bright future in a competitive world. unattainable results. With less pressure and anxiety, you may find
We want them to participate in team sports or other sports and they do better anyway and come into their own once they are
cultural activities to build character, create social bonds, and be ‘off through the system.
their screens.’ But it can be overwhelming and counterproductive. It’s also okay to admit that your choice of school may no longer
Sometimes, they just need to be kids. I can hardly count the be the right fit. We make these choices with the information
times I’ve had a child in tears in my classroom because they are we have at the time and always aim for the best outcome. But
so disappointed in a test result. And when I tried to reassure them sometimes, life shows us otherwise, and making a positive shift
and comfort them, their response was along the lines of, ‘My could be life-changing.
parents are going to kill me!’ Jacqueline Aitchison, Executive Head of Education Incorporated
I’ve had children experience full-blown panic attacks. When Private School, says, ‘The significance of choosing the best school
we sit and chat, I discover that they struggle to keep up with for your child cannot be understated. Wherever your child is on
schoolwork because their afternoons are full of karate classes, their educational journey, selecting a school for them should
horse riding, gymnastics, and swimming practice – the list goes be a careful and considered choice... and open to change if the
on. While these things are great outlets when done in moderation, need arises. Many parents prioritise prestige above all else. They
many kids are doing more than one of these a day, getting home mistakenly think that enrolling their child in a prominent, big-
at supper time and then still trying to keep up with school. name school is a ticket to smooth sailing. This isn’t always the case.’
What they need are opportunities to engage in hobbies that Parenting is not for sissies. It’s a fine line between firm
revitalise them and have no expectations, to spend quality time encouragement and gentle support, wanting them to conquer the
with their families, and to achieve the elusive work/life balance world and helping them get through a day. We doubt ourselves
that we adults work so hard to achieve. constantly, regardless of which stance we take, but at the end of
the day, we all want what is best for our kids, which is the source
Finding a balance of our efforts. But we need to cut our children some slack so they
We also want our children to grow up resilient so they can can one day go out and conquer the world thanks to good self-
handle life’s hard knocks. Trying to avoid or eliminate the source esteem, valuing their own needs, and having compassion and
of their anxiety can disempower them. The key is to help them empathy through our example.
manage it and to recognise it. When they feel safe enough to
discuss their feelings, they will also be open to letting you know In a nutshell
when the pressure is just too overwhelming, and you can help Having a good relationship with your child’s teacher is crucial.
them choose the activities that give them an outlet and walk Teachers rarely suggest significant changes like moving to a
away from the ones that smother them. smaller school or repeating a year unless they genuinely believe
We constantly push concepts like ‘don’t give up,’ ‘stay committed’, it will benefit your child.

Here are some practical strategies: Avoid over-scheduling: Ensure your helping with their studies and finding the
Spend calm time together: Regular, child has enough free time to play, read, best methods.
relaxed time with your children is vital. It listen to music, or relax. Prepare the night before: To reduce
strengthens your bond and supports their Children do best in a structured yet morning chaos, get your child into the habit
emotional well-being. supportive environment. Here’s how to of packing their school bag and any sports
Listen and encourage sharing: Make create that from the start of the year: kit the night before.
sure your kids know they can talk about Set a homework routine: Decide Check in regularly: Go through your
their feelings and worries, especially with a specific time and place for homework child’s school books weekly. It’s an excellent
all the new things they’re experiencing at and studying. This area should be quiet, way to see how they handle the workload
school. organised, and have all the necessary and cope with academic demands.
Use positive reinforcement: supplies. Communicate early and often: Don’t
Encourage and reward your children, Don’t leave things to the last minute: wait for the first parent-teacher meeting to
avoiding criticism about their schoolwork or Teach your child to start on projects early, discover any issues. Stay on top of school
test results. avoiding the stress of rushing just before communications and be punctual with all
Show interest in their school life: Be deadlines. school-related paperwork.
actively interested in your child’s education Be involved: Remember, most grade Following these tips can help smooth the
and support them with their homework and four students aren’t quite ready to study path through grade four, making it a positive
projects. independently. Spend time with them, and productive year for your child.

The Villager • Issue 3 2024 • 17