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Kyalami Estates Corporate Brand Bible  Design  26
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 Kyalami Estates Corporate Brand Bible  Design                                                                                                             23

                            WHAT CONTINENT                                                                                                            NOUVELLE CUISINE
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                                   HAS NO LAND?                                                                                                                    New




                                                       BY JAMES CLARKE



                             kind retired teacher has sent me some student   ships shelter during a storm.
                             exam howlers, some of which were new to me. I
                        Athought they would amuse young and old.    These reminded me of that classic essay compiled by
                                                                    Richard Lederer, an American teacher of English, who
                        Climate is caused by the emotion of the earth around the   gleaned these pearls of historical knowledge from student   A selection of gourmet meals for the discerning diner...
                        sun.                                        bloopers dating back to the 19th century. He described it
                        The people of Japan ride around in jig-saws.  as “a history of the world through the eyes of students”.
                        The writing of ancient Egypt is in hydraulics.  The essay was published some years ago in his book,
                                            INVOICE
                        The general direction of the Alps is straight up.  Anguished English.
                        The benefi t of latitude and longitude is that when a man is
                        drowning he can call out what latitude and longitude he is   I’ll quote just the beginning:
                        in and we can fi nd him.                    The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived
                        The climate is hottest next to the creator.  in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate
                                            Entity: Kyalami Estates
                        Oceania is a continent that contains no land.  of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live                        BON APPÉTIT Creamy Mousses offer tender,
                                        Entity VAT No: 2018/031605/07
                        Climate lasts all the time but weather lasts only a few   elsewhere so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated
                        days.                  Entity Reg No:       by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape                     bite size morsels marinated in savoury
                                           Invoice Date: xx May 2019
                        The Eskimos are God’s frozen people.        of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of                           juices and cooked to perfection.
                        The sun sets in the west and hurries around to the east to   mountains between France and Spain.
                        be in time to rise the next morning.
                        People go to Africa to hunt rhinostriches.  The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the fi rst book                                             Available in 85 g tins
                        Imports are ports far inland.  Bill to:     of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from
                        Inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.  an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my
                        The Mediterranean and the Red Sea are connected by the   brother's son?"
                        Sewage Canal.                               Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to
                       Attention:xxxxx xxxxx                   Tax Invoice No: xxxxx xxxxx
                        A watershed is a shed in the middle of the ocean where
                                                                    be patriarchs but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's
                         Xxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx                   Recipient VAT No: xxxxx xxxxx
                                                                    sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
                         Xxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx                      PO Number: xxxxx xxxxx
                                                                    Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without
                                                                    straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea where they made
                                                                    unleavened bread which is bread made without any
                                                                    ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide
                                                                    to get the Ten Commandments.
                      Account:                Your Reference:            Tax Reference:
                     Kyalami Estates           Kyalami Estates      David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He                                                           BON APPÉTIT Chunky
                                                                          Kyalami Estates
                                                                    fought the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in
                                                                    Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500                                                             Paté offers a finely
                                                                    wives and 500 porcupines.
                                                                                                                                                                                      ground and delightfully
                                                                    Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks                                                               smooth like paté.
                                                                    invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and
                                                                         Tax Reference:
                     Description:                Unit Price         Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One
                                                                            R000 0000
                    Xxxxx       xxxxxxxxx        R000 0000          myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the                                                        Available in 100 g trays
                                                                            R000 0000
                    Xxxxx        xxxxxxx        R000 00000          River Stynx until he became intolerable.
                                                                    Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around
                                                                    giving people advice. They killed him. He died from an
                                                                    overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a                                   Expertly prepared, inspired combinations
                                          Sub Total: R000 000.00    dramatic decline.                                                                           to create flavourful recipes your cat will love.
                                          VAT 15%: R000 000.00
                                            Total: R000 000.00      The government of Athens was democratic because the
                                                                    people took the law into their own hands. There were                                                                                     Visit: www.bonappetitpet.co.za
                                                                    no wars in Greece as the mountains were so high, they
                                                                    couldn’t climb over to see what their neighbours were
                                                                    doing.
                                         Account Name: Kyalami Estates
                                               Bank: Investec       (Alas, I am out of space so cannot go on to tell you all
                                            Account: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  the stories about Caesar and how “the Ides of March              R8 OFF ANY BON APPETIT PRODUCT
                                            Account Type: Current   murdered him and, dying, he gasped “Tee hee Brutus”.)
                                             Branch Code: xxxxxx    Recommended retail price: R395,00
                                                                     PUBLISHED by:
                                            Estate Office & Administration
                                      Tel: (011) 468 3001/2  |  Fax: (011) 468 1246 After his death, his
                                           Email: info@kyalamiestates.co.za
                                          PO Box 50, Kyalami Estates 1684  career suffered a
                                                                        ”
                                                                         dramatic decline.
        56   Kyalami Estates • CONNECT • Issue 4 • 2019                                             ”
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