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TODAY’S CHILD

to school. In extreme cases, bullying has world, and promoting an ‘avatar existence’ You are part of the team:
reared its ugly head as children from more is problematic. Fostering online identities Some of the challenges facing you may
financially able parents find it acceptable which go unchecked or unbalanced with seem overwhelming, but other people are
to comment on or even bully children the real world experiences is seeding facing them too. Learn to draw from each
with less expensive or older laptops or cell problems for the future. other’s strengths and build each other up
phones. when you can. Your team is broader than
Safer at home: your home. Your team includes friends,
Leaving children to their own devices: At the start of the lockdown, we pushed family, school community and anyone who
As adults, we can attest to how challenging the “safer at home” discourse. Now we has demonstrated a similar approach to
it is to disconnect from work in the digital are asked to buy into the “school is safe” building a future, despite the constraints.
age. It is no different for children. With narrative. As an adult, this 360-degree shift
many schools going virtual, it is crucial to is difficult to work with, now imagine how The COVID-19 situation has been a shared,
help create clear boundaries and ‘end times’ a child processes this. The international traumatic experience for individuals,
for where life begins and tech-time ends. research community appears confident in families and communities, as well as
We are placed in a double bind, where their advice regarding return to school. I nations. There is a need to process and
we need to embrace technology while at am a parent and I also feel the pull towards understand what has happened. We need
the same time moderate its dominance. keeping my girls at home where they are this understanding so that we may grieve
Children have difficulty in transitioning “safe and virus-free”. As a psychologist (and the losses that the family and community
from using electronics to electronic-free a parent), I remind myself that attending have experienced. This will enable us to
time. We need to help children give up their school is normal. Interacting with peers, work together in finding a way forward. For
electronics for the day. Give a 10-minute debating issues, making and not making healing to occur, we need to unpack the
warning for when electronics are done and the soccer team, and wearing a school conversation concerning our experiences
have the children take up some activity uniform are all normal things to do. In and build connections. This should be
straight after handing over their electronics a time when so much has been eroded done whilst being mindful that individual
to keep them motivated to give them up. away, we need to at least try to engage in experiences are unique and no one view
We cannot expect children to hand over the dialogue around returning to school is more important. Moving forward and
a fun device and then have to sit doing and continuing our lives. We also need growing through these experiences
nothing exciting. to remember that children are a lot more is possible despite everything that is
resilient than we are as adults. They adapt happening. The way in which we create
In teens, the dominance of electronics to change (wearing masks and social spaces for growth and movement is in
since lockdown has been staggering. It is distancing) quickly and learn to put their how we talk about things. We need to talk
more difficult to assist them in moderating best foot forward to continue having fun. in ways that promote our moving forward,
their screen time, as their devices have that promote the future and all the things
become the only way to communicate and Concerning behaviour: we are striving for.
socialise with friends. While devices have When something big happens in our lives,
played a vital role, the problem comes it is tempting to see everything in that Certainly, there are obstacles, but by
when teens are spending the majority of context. Contrary to popular belief, not focusing less on the obstacles and more
their day online. We need to realise that everything can be blamed on COVID-19. on the journey to overcome them, we
children and teens cannot self-regulate Concerning behaviour is still concerning create the reality in which the obstacles
their online behaviour or screen time. This behaviour, despite it occurring during will be overcome!
is something that needs to be taught and COVID times. Poor/bad behaviour still
role modelled. needs boundaries and discipline, perhaps
even more so during COVID times because
Whether it is IG, fortnite, tiktok, funimate, discipline provides children with security.
roblox or the likes, the online world is In other words, even though things are
not the real world. We can motivate upside down in my world, “...mom and
according to our own perspectives, use dad still have rules that remain constant,
these unprecedented times as an excuse therefore my life is still stable and I am
and find all the supporting evidence we ‘safe’”. On the side of mental health, a few • Marital, Couples & Family
want to, so as to explain away why we things to watch include: change in mood, Therapy
are allowing such extended screen time. tiredness, anger outbursts, secretive • Counselling Children,
However, the reality is we live in the real behaviour and signs of self-harming. Adolescents & Adults
• “Teen” Challenges
• Behavioural & Adjustment
Challenges
• Stress-Related Challenges
• Adjustment to Depression &
Anxiety
• Subject & Career Counselling
• Psychometric Testing

For an appointment please call
083 376 1995

Fees are charged according to Scale of
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Practice Address: 27 Fish Eagle Street,
Silver Lakes, Pretoria
Pr. Nr. 0860000114022
Reg. No.: PS 0080543
24 INTRA MUROS SEPTEMBER 2020