Page 42 - Silver Lakes May 2021

HUMOUR

TERRIERS, NOT POODLES!

By James Clarke

must have mentioned Maltese dogs cowards who haven't got the guts to bite FAMOUS LAST WORDS
in my column recently because the people themselves." - August Strindberg Here’s another list – it’s a list of famous last
I Lloyd family has emailed to say I must "Ever consider what they must think of words:
stop describing Maltese as poodles. The us? I mean, here we come back from a Ah cute! I wonder where mummy lion is.
Lloyds were reacting to something I grocery store with the most amazing haul What does this button do?
wrote about Maltese dogs and asked me - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think Are you sure the power is off?
to correct a common belief that Maltese we're the greatest hunters on earth!" - The odds of that happening have to be a
are poodles. They are, the Lloyds say, Anne Tyler million to one!
terriers. "Don't accept your dog's admiration Pull the pin and count to what?
as conclusive evidence that you are I've seen this done on TV.
"Poodles are in a class of their own, wonderful." - Ann Landers These are the safe kind of mushrooms.
both in intelligence and in agility," says "Women and cats will do as they please I'll hold it and you light the fuse.
Renate Lloyd and she sent me this quote and men and dogs should relax and get This doesn't taste right.
from Rita Rudner: I wonder if other dogs used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein Nice doggie.
think poodles are members of a weird "There is no psychiatrist in the world like I can do that with my eyes closed.
religious cult? a puppy licking your face." - Ben Williams Duck? What duck?
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness That's odd.
This was followed by a whole list of forgot about little puppies." - Gene Hill Don't be so superstitious.
quotes about dogs: "Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done Now, watch this. Ooooooooooooooooooo!
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably wrong, always try to make it look like the
man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's dog did it." -- Unknown I love unintentional humour. One often
too dark to read." - Groucho Marx. "The average dog is a nicer person than finds examples in advertisements. Like
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; the average person." - Andrew A. Rooney these two newspaper advertisements for
hence the constant popularity of dogs." "Things that upset a terrier may pass a charity event:
- Aldous Huxley virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." - Alzheimer's Centre - Tonight's film: "An
"In dog years, I'm dead" - Unknown Smiley Blanton Affair to Remember".
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly Tonight's Talk: "Leprosy in the 20th
why you walked in? I think that is how vanishing look of amazed contempt, and Century". Finger supper will follow.
dogs spend their lives." - Sue Murphy I am convinced that, basically, dogs think
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

40 INTRA MUROS MAY 2021