Page 46 - Silver Lakes September 2021

HUMOUR

THE LOST OPPORTUNITY

By James Clarke

t was one of those glorious sunny spring Mert would have explained how she megacycles, whatever, to all neighbours
days on the Highveld with the scent of was taking her dog, Pericles III, to the vet and friends.
Ijasmine in the air. She was standing because he was really very sick and Pericles
there at the side of the busy road, nut III would have verified this by dumping his Then Mert would have told Selwyn that
brown and dressed in little more than stomach contents on the back seat. she had to be in Sandton for an audition
a wisp of a sundress that the capricious for a modelling job by 11am and Selwyn,
morning breeze held against her slim but Mert would have explained how she was already two hours late, would have
shapely body. taking ‘Perry’ to a veterinary doctor friend decided he might as well be hanged for
in Dinwiddie, Germiston, because he saw a sheep as for a lamb and would then
At her sandaled feet was what sub- to Perry’s medical needs for nothing. have, impetuously, offered to drive Mert
accountant, Selwyn Millburton, B.Comm, there.
at first took to be dilapidated luggage. But As long as Selwyn could drop her off in
as he drove past he realised it was in fact a downtown she would find her way from And she would have landed the job and
large shaggy dog. there. But Selwyn could not bear to think introduced Selwyn to her new employer
of this helpless girl dragging her sick dog who would instantly have offered Selwyn
He also realised the young woman was to the East Rand so he would certainly R100 000 a week to model men’s yachting
thumbing a lift. have offered to drive her there despite outfits with Mert in St Tropez and
the fact that that would make him late for Veracruz.
He thought for a moment of stopping work and Mr Grantham, his boss, would
because if ever he had seen a maiden in give him one of those looks. By now badly in need of money because
distress, this was it. Selwyn always thought of petrol costs and steam-cleaning the
of stopping to give people lifts but usually, Selwyn would have helped her deposit car’s interior, and, probably, having lost
by the time he had worked out the the dog on the pavement outside the vet his job anyway, Selwyn would have
complications that could arise, he was 5km and she would have thrown her slender become swept up in a world of big money,
away. And to stop suddenly in rush hour brown arms around his neck and given yachts, gorgeous girls, champagne, and
traffic would cause a traffic shunt clean him a long, warm kiss full of affection and peppermint-flavoured toothpicks.
across Randburg, extending north as far as gratitude – just as Mrs Herming, Selwyn’s
Sidi-bel-Abbes Ext 34. next door neighbour, drove past. Although None of this would have thrilled his wife,
nobody ever drives to Dinwiddie early in Millicent, or his Mum.
Selwyn realised that had he stopped for the morning (they only drive from there)
her she would have gratefully sunk into on this occasion Mrs Herming would have Anyway, Selwyn reached his office that
the passenger seat beside him and told been attending a course round the corner morning spot on time, as usual. And as
him her name was Mert. Selwyn never from the vet on Advanced Gossiping Mr Grantham greeted him with his usual
could resist girls whose names began with and within the hour The Kiss would have nod, Selwyn would have sighed a great
M, or even N and P for that matter, and also been broadcast on 340 megahertz or shuddering sigh of relief.
S and T.

44 INTRA MUROS SEPTEMBER 2021