Page 43 - SilverLakes_Issue 1_2022

HUMOUR

LOVE IS IN THE EAR

By James Clarke

ver the years, readers have sent A lot of other children were immortalised the Jewish holy day when people fast the
me children’s sayings deserving in Nita’s book. whole day.
Oof immortality – like, “Love is in His Jewish mother explained to him that
the ear.” Faye (5) told a friend, “I’ve just had she was allowed to eat only after the sun
chicken pox.” The friend said, “I had fish had gone down.
Last week, I was told of a teacher reading fingers.” An hour later, Ben comes rushing indoors:
the story, The Three Little Pigs. She came “Mom, quickly! The sun has gone behind
to the part where the first pig went up to a And hyperactive Jason (8), on medication the clouds – you can sneak a little snack.”
man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and to control his hyperactivity, came home
said, “Pardon me, sir, but might I have some and announced, “The Ritalin worked. I And Liza – she was asked to say grace
of that straw to build my house with?” didn’t hit anybody today.” before dinner but was overawed by the
presence of her parents’ friends. “I don’t
The teacher asked, “And what do you One of the most poignant anecdotes know what to say,” she said.
think that man said?” recounted by Nita illustrates how careful “Just say what you hear me say,” her
A boy raised his hand: “I know! I know! one must be in explaining something to a mother said.
He said ‘Holy smokes! A talking pig!’” child. I’ll quote directly from Nita’s book: Liza recited: “Lord, why on earth did I
For weeks Lenny, aged six, kept telling invite all these people to dinner?”
The late Nita Ebelin of Kelvin, Sandton, for his first grade teacher about the baby
years collected the funny, absurd and wise brother or sister that was expected at his My favourite is about a teacher giving the
things children said and put them into a house. One day his mother allowed him basics about the blood’s circulation.
book titled How Much Do I Cost? which is to feel her tummy and the movements of He said, “If I stand on my head, the blood,
long out of print. I was pleased to come the unborn child. as you know, will run into my head and I
across a copy in a second-hand bookshop. Lenny, obviously impressed, said nothing will turn red in the face. But, while I am
Nita was inspired mainly by her own but he stopped talking about the standing upright, the blood doesn’t run
children and her two grandchildren, Dani impending event. into my feet. Why?”
(9) and Yoni (7). In fact, Dani unknowingly The teacher, worried, finally sat him Long silence. Then a youngster says,
supplied the title: she was being weighed on her lap and said, “Lenny, whatever “Cause your feet aren’t empty.”
as a toddler and watched the dial settle. became of that baby brother or sister you
She asked, “How much do I cost?” were expecting at home?” GOOD QUESTION
Lenny burst into tears and confessed, Blame Dr Hugh Cobb for the following:
“I think Mommy ate it!”
At the Henry Street Hebrew School,
Some sayings in Nita’s New York, Goldblatt finished the lesson.
book are from other “Mr Goldblatt,” said little Joey, “there’s
sources, including somethin’ I can’t figger. Accordin’ to the
from my old Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the
newspaper column, Red Sea, right?”
Stoep Talk. There “Right.”
was Nancy (4), for “An’ the Children of Israel beat up the
instance, reciting the Philistines, right?”
Lord’s Prayer... “and “Well . . . OK.”
lead us not into “An’ the Children of Israel built the
temptation but Temple; an’ the Children of Israel fought
deliver us some the ‘gyptians; an’ the Children of Israel
e-mail. Amen.” fought the Romans – the Children
of Israel wuz always doin’ somethin’
I liked the one about important. Right?”
Ben (6) who was most “Right. So what’s your question, Joey?”
intrigued by Yom Kippur, “What wuz all the grown-ups doin’?”

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