Page 44 - Silver Lakes August Issue 2023

TODAY’S CHILD

themselves that they will not fail is the
most powerful tool you can give them.
Help them convert unhelpful thoughts
into realistic ones.
• Deep breathing exercises to relax –
breathing deeply from your belly is a
great tool to help you and your child
calm down, refocus and think clearly.
The action increases oxygen levels in
the bloodstream, lowers the heart and
Because of the panic attack, the child may situation and what they may say. Let breathing rates, and reduces muscle
now associate soccer with intense anxiety. them problem solve it as far as possible tension and stress levels. Let your child
Every time they walk onto the field, the in order to build their confidence. place their hands on their belly and
brain can perceive this as a threatening • Build confidence – achieving small things chest, then take a deep, slow breath in
situation, which can trigger ongoing anxiety successfully helps to build confidence. through the nose, hold the breath and
and more frequent panic attacks. Give your child some chores or a task release it slowly through the mouth, like
to complete to help them build their blowing out birthday candles.
How to relieve anxiety – do’s confidence. Opportunities to face
• Identify the triggers – help your child to challenges are important in confidence What not to do
understand and recognise what causes building. Praise efforts rather than • Don’t minimise or ridicule their anxiety.
them to feel anxious. results and if they get stuck, let them Never minimise what your child is
• Validate and display empathy – know that they can always discuss the experiencing by telling them to “just
remember that your children’s emotions, obstacles with you and plan how to get on and do it” or “tough cookie, deal
thought processes and experiences are overcome them. with it”. Their feelings are real and they
very real to them, regardless of how • Challenge negative and unhelpful are taking strain, so support your child
you may perceive them. It is crucial that thoughts – encourage your child to talk with compassion, kindness and empathy
your child feels heard and understood. through what they are experiencing or in facing their fears. The fact that they
Recognise and affirm that their thoughts, what is causing them distress. This will verbalise their fears is great, so don’t
feelings and experiences are valid and help you to understand the thoughts shut the communication channel down.
important. your child is telling themself, so that you • Don’t label emotions. Never label
• Break down tasks – Studying for a test, can work with them to identify more emotions as good or bad. The experience
preparing for a presentation or creating helpful and realistic thoughts. They may is what counts. How you deal with
a project can seem like an overwhelming realise, in talking through it, that the fear the emotions may be less than ideal,
task. Help your child to break this down isn’t real. but you and your child can still learn a
into smaller steps that feel less daunting. Direct the conversation to get them to valuable lesson even from a negative
Encourage and praise them as they think about the situation in a different, situation. The positive experiences will
complete each step; like a puzzle, the more positive manner. For example, ask build confidence and, hopefully, reduce
pieces will fall into place. if they have failed at the task before. Ask: anxiety.
• Role-play conversations – It’s a great “What did you do before to succeed?
idea to help your child prepare for a What else can you do?” If you feel that your child is not coping
situation they’re concerned about, such Directing conversation with questions will despite the abovementioned advice, seek
as asking a teacher for help. Role playing allow your child to break the perceived professional help either through channels
and rehearsing the feared situation problem up into smaller chunks. The within the school or ask your GP for a
can remove the anxiety. Let them talk point is to focus on the evidence and the referral. Never leave an anxious child
through how they may approach the conclusions independently. Realising for unsupported.

42 | INTRAMUROS AUGUST 2023