Page 37 - Intra Muros August Issue 2025

TODAY’S CHILD

HOMEWORK BATTLES AND WHAT’S

ACTUALLY BEHIND THEM

By Nicola Killops

hat if it’s not laziness? What Beneath the surface: It’s not just about And so, they sit. Frozen. Resistant.
if it’s something else entirely? the task Sometimes explosive. And we, as
WIt’s 4:37pm on a Wednesday. By the time your child gets home from school, parents, step into the ring – not knowing
Your child is sprawled on the couch, they’ve likely already spent six to eight hours that the fight was never with us.
shoelaces still half-tied, watching the sitting still, masking emotions, following
ceiling fan spin as you say – not for social cues, absorbing lessons, avoiding Knowing when to push and when
the first time – “Have you started your embarrassment, and trying their best to hold to pause
homework yet?” it all together. That’s a full workday in anyone’s There’s no universal script for this –
language – before they even begin their “second some days, a bit of encouragement is
They groan. You groan. The dog leaves shift” of homework. So, when they resist, stall, exactly what they need. Other days, no
the room. And just like that, another cry, or “accidentally forget” their Maths book amount of stickers, snacks, or logic will
homework battle begins. for the third day in a row… there’s often more cut through the emotional static.
going on than meets the eye.
We don’t plan for our afternoons to Gentle push when:
unravel like this. Most of us start out What looks like laziness might actually be: • They’re procrastinating, but still light-
the term with good intentions – fresh • Cognitive fatigue – Their brain is done. Their hearted.
stationery, colour-coded timetables, executive function battery is flat. • The work is well within their ability,
maybe even a sticker chart. But life, • Anxiety or fear of failure – “What if I do it but motivation is low.
inevitably, gets in the way. And what wrong?” is often the louder voice behind “I • They just need a nudge and a sense of
started as a quiet “reminder” soon don’t feel like it.” structure.
becomes a shouting match, tears, and • Lack of understanding – They’re too
someone threatening to email the embarrassed to say, “I don’t get this.” Pause when:
principal. • Sensory overload – Especially for • Their shoulders slump the moment
neurodivergent kids, the classroom may have you mention homework.
But here’s the part we don’t talk about been too loud, too bright, too fast. • There are tears, meltdowns, or
enough: most kids aren’t refusing • Perfectionism – The stakes feel so high, they’d shutdowns.
homework to be difficult. They’re not lazy, rather avoid than attempt and fall short. • They can’t explain the task, even after
entitled, or lacking discipline. More often • Emotional residue – A playground fallout re-reading it.
than not, they’re just overwhelmed. And or maths test panic can linger long after the • They’re showing signs of emotional
they may not have the words to say so. school bell rings. distress, frustration, or fear.

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