Page 50 - waterfall Issue 12 2021

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cLAss disTincTion

And cAshEW nuTs

By James Clarke
We travel writers sometimes travel,

courtesy of an airline, business

class or even better. When booked

economy class – where we are

seated most of the time – we live

in hope of an upgrade, which we

occasionally get.

i feeling of superiority when elevated scatter my superior business class
normally feel a little guilty travelling
business class or first class. It’s the
to the front section, which might
cashew nuts among the peanut-eaters
curtain that does it. The curtain
in an airliner is the world’s most even begin in the terminal itself as I in economy class, but I suppose this
would simply cause an unseemly
crash my trolley through the economy
unsubtle class barrier. At take-off, the class queues up to the red-carpeted, scramble – possibly even a mid-air riot.
curtain that divides business or first less-pressured business and first class
class from those travelling economy flower-bedecked check-in desk. Here, British Airways sensitively calls
is always left open. This is so that, they place bright red PRIORITY labels economy class ‘tourist class’. virgin
if the take-off is not to everybody’s on my bags and, with deep respect, Atlantic, waggling two fingers at the
satisfaction – let’s say the plane lands direct me to the Business Lounge. poor, calls its luxury section, ‘upper
up in a cabbage field – the poor in There are armchairs in the Business class’, clearly inferring that those on
economy class can use the business Lounge and one gets free snacks the wrong side of the curtain are
or first class exit, which I think is really and drinks, and I sometimes have to ‘lower class’. I travelled upper class on
jolly sporting of the people up front. be restrained. This agreeable feeling virgin once but all the time I knew,
wells up again when I am ushered in my heart of hearts, that although
One always knows when the crew is into the front section of the aircraft those in the lower class looked
happy with the take-off because a where they offer French champagne inferior, some could quite possibly
stewardess immediately snaps the and a hot towel before take-off. have been my equal, or nearly so.
curtain closed, thus separating the
hoi polloi from the upper crust. Sometimes I wonder how I’ll On one of our 10 cycling tours across
ever be able to descend again Europe, (Tour de Farce Ix), we flew
The curtain also, no doubt, avoids to the level of my family. in BA’s ‘intermediate class’, which
unseemly clashes between the haves mercifully gives extra legroom and
and the have-nots by preventing One shouldn’t feel guilty of course. one of the team told me of a luxurious
a deep sense of deprivation After all, it’s not just you who is getting flight he experienced when he flew
building up in economy class a free ride. Nobody in business class with Pérez de Cuéllar, the former uN
as they see passengers up front or first class is paying. Businessmen chief, to Angola, in the secretary-
relaxing in enormous recliners charge the fare to the company and general’s private 707 attended by a
being spoilt rotten by air hostesses politicians and officials have their bevy of Iberian Airlines air hostesses –
serving mouth-watering cuisine fares paid by the taxpayers sitting at “Ten females to each male passenger”.
accompanied by silver cutlery. the back. But sometimes, when in
business class, I am overcome with I could handle that, even if
All the same, I must admit to a definite compassion and a strong desire to there were no cashew nuts.

48 Waterfall Issue 12 2021