Page 24 - Blue Valley News February 2021

TODAY’S CHILD

kids have taken to the online realm with ease.
Gamers spend a lot of time together while
bonding over a shared activity. The research
is not very encouraging for the quality of
those relationships, but at this stage it is
better than nothing. For non-gamers, there
is Zoom, FaceTime and WhatsApp, IG, FB,
and for those we should be grateful. But is it
enough…? For now, it has been enough. We
can make our relationships work online, even
though it is not ideal. A phone call is better
than nothing. Even messaging can be a good
way to interact.
Some of the most powerful ways to connect
can be achieved only in person. Touch is the
most effective bonding tool of all as it triggers
all sorts of neuro-transmitters in the brain. We
are missing the handshakes and the hugs as
touching is something we cannot currently
do because of fears of transmission. But other
behaviours can provide similar triggers to
the brain such as laughing, singing, dancing,
telling stories, and sharing a meal.
5. Developmental ages and social
connections
Our relationships change over the course
2. Consolidating friendship networks and they are virtually impossible to facilitate of our lives, and the benefits of friendship
Many people closed up their social networks via online communication. The ability to just vary with age as well. It is known that social
during lockdown. We tightened up our circle. pause, laugh, joke, shoot the breeze and all relationships are critical to the health of older
Naturally as a result of the pandemic, we tend the things that you do, does not currently people because that is when the number of
to socialise with fewer people than before. happen. This casual and carefree contact relationships naturally start to decline. You
We socialise with a very particular sub-group has been temporarily lost, and that is an may lose your spouse; your children move
for a multitude of reasons. For those of us important loss in our social networks. away; it is harder to get out. Older people
who have connections to draw on or are able who live alone are at even greater risk. Those
to sustain existing friendships online, we are There is a risk of decay of social networks who are not tech-savvy may be cut off from
doing that pretty well. In many instances, without these micro-interactions as they their connections. Even more so when they
we may even be closer to some friends help to connect people. Psychologists are are fearful of contracting Covid.
than before. Some of our other friendships, concerned that people who were lonely
however, have not done so well. Many people before Covid were likely to be slightly lonelier Single adults may also be struggling socially
have found that over the last 10 months we afterwards, while others we assume will jump during the pandemic, but it is not because
have become more detached from our day- straight back in. Furthermore, the longer that they did not have wide social networks
to-day friends, opting rather to consolidate people do not interact, the more challenging before lockdowns. There is a myth that single
other friendships. interactions become in the future. For people are not socially skilled or that they
example, they are more socially anxious. are isolated because they live alone. In fact,
When social interactions moved online, only research shows that single people socialise
certain kinds of relationships seemed to have These casual chats are possibly even more outside the home much more than people
survived while others went still. By online, essential for children. Adults have gone who are married with children. They go to
I am referring to various platforms such as through the learning process of “friend- events, they join clubs, more so than people
IG, FB, WhatsApp (despite recent concerns), making”. Casual interactions are also in relationships. Herein lies the problem,
Houseparty, etc. Once the community learning areas for children who observe they socialise outside the home. During the
context, braai or let’s meet for lunch, of a their parents socialising outside of the close pandemic, they do not have that outlet. So
relationship was taken away, we sought out circle. Adolescents need to observe such for people who were extremely social, this is
the relationships where we had something interactions so that they may learn the skills a huge loss.
deeper in common besides a shared of how to approach a new potential social
experience or a good party. Many wanted connection. This is contributing to how they Therefore, for adults the picture does not
to share their pandemic stress with those to learn to make friends. look too bleak but for adolescents, who are at
whom they felt the closest connection. This a critical time in their lives when friendships
process has not happened intentionally, it 4. Technology to the rescue are being formed, it is concerning. Kids and
has grown organically from the context in Social media platforms provide us with a teens, who are just beginning to build their
which we find ourselves. multitude of options to communicate. This networks, may be missing out on valuable
is arguably a good thing overall. But not opportunities to acquire social skills right
3. Missing the casual carefree chats everybody is made for technology. Video now. It is during the stages of adolescence
It is also clear that when it comes to people in calls, and old-fashioned phone calls, have and young adulthood that many people make
our lives with whom we do not have enough increased since the pandemic began, as their closest and most enduring connections,
of a foundation of friendship to build an people work to stay connected. There are often in high school hallways and varsity
online relationship during the pandemic, however relatively few avenues for meeting residences. But the high school and varsity
we miss our interactions with them. As new people right now. Friendship depends so experience looks very different now, they are
previously mentioned, we may miss carefree much on easy access, routine and closeness. not meeting nearly as many people. Some
chats in the parking lot or a chat with one In normal circumstances, you meet a lot of students are back at home online or varsity has
of the mommies after school. We miss those people, find the ones you enjoy spending time not opened yet. Adolescence marks a critical
who added an enjoyable part of our day. with, and then there are a few of those you period in the development of friendships. A
Researchers call these micro-interactions, choose to hang out with. But unprecedented variety of factors, such as growth in cognitive
times call for unprecedented measures. The capabilities and strivings for increased
22 • Issue 1 2021 • BLUE VALLEY NEWS