Page 25 - Blue Valley Issue 5 2021

Today’s ChiLd

intensive environments, with feedback loops
and unintended consequences. Encourage
your children to break challenges down into
a set of questions; to think about each one
through various perspectives; and to find
answers from experts.

• Focus on healthy relationships at home.
Research shows that children brought up in
high conflict homes tend to fare worse than
children with parents that get along. Conflict is
destabilising and creates insecurity and doubt
in young minds.
• Teach maths early. A study of 35 000 pre-
schoolers showed that developing maths skills
such as numbers and number orders, puzzles
and basic concepts early on can turn into a
huge advantage. This will benefit both their
maths and reading skills.
• Build relationships early on with your
children. Yet another study showed that
sensitive caregiving in the first three years
is fundamental to creating a secure base for
children to explore the world and learn. Early
investments will result in long-term returns.

• stress less. Your stress levels can directly
impact on your children. A concept called
‘emotional contagion’ is a psychological
phenomenon where people catch feelings
from one another. Therefore, as a parent, if you
are tired and frustrated, that emotional state
could transfer to your children.

• don’t be a helicopter parent**. This style
of parenting inadvertently disempowers
your child. Let them explore. Let them make
mistakes. Let them learn.
• Value effort over failure. Decades of studies
at Stanford University found that children
think about success in one of two ways, either
with a fixed mind-set, which assumes that
intelligence, creativity and character are all
static and can’t change in a meaningful way;
or with a growth mind-set, which thrives on
challenges and sees failure not as evidence
of intelligence but as a way to grow and learn
new skills. To explain this practically, if children
are told that they did well in a test because
they are clever, this creates a fixed mind-set.
If they are told they did well because of effort,
iSTOCK: Choreograph
it nurtures a growth mind-set. This could be a
vital differentiating factor.
to cultivate creative thoughts and actions. • set higher expectations of them. This talks to
Verbally reward your child for striving for new the Pygmalion effect, which states that what • Teach grit. Grit is basically resilience. It can be
experiences and encourage them to turn one person expects of another can come to defined as a ‘tendency to sustain interest in an
curiosity into action serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Basically, effort aimed at very long-term goals’. The idea
this means that expectations parents hold is to teach children to commit to the future
• Teach social skills. A study conducted over for their children have a huge effect on them they want to create.
20 years showed that socially competent attaining goals. We are certainly not promoting
children who, without prompting could undue pressure being placed on children, but Parenting is dynamic and ever-changing, so be
cooperate with their peers and were helpful it is about visualising a future state and then adaptable. Try to parent actively rather than
towards others, had greater empathy and encouraging them to work towards that. The passively – it could set your child on the path to
were better able to resolve problems on their goal posts may move, but moving forward and success.
own. They were more likely to complete a not standing still is the point.
university degree and have a full-time job by Sources:
Ted Talk – “How to Raise an Adult”
the age of 25 than those with limited social • Complexity is the future so future success may https://www.inc.com/patricia-fletcher/7-ways-to-raise-the-
next-generation-of-innovators.html
skills. Conversely, limited social skills present be determined by a person’s complexipacity, a
a higher risk of reckless behaviour, resulting word coined by David Pierre Snyder. This trait ** A helicopter parent is a parent who pays extremely close
attention to a child’s experiences and problems, particularly at
in binge drinking, or using drugs and being describes an individual’s ability to innovate educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because,
like helicopters, they ‘hover’, overseeing every aspect of their child’s
arrested. and disrupt in complex, open and people- life constantly. Wikipedia.
BLUE VALLEY NEWS • Issue 5 2021• 23