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LIFE TALK
By teaching your children how to solve
problems from a young age, you set
them up to develop valuable habits that
will carry them through life.
These skills will equip your child
to tackle problems head-on,
instead of shying away from
them and letting a molehill grow
into a mountain. They will learn
that there is a solution to every
problem and everything turns
out okay; maybe not exactly as
they'd hoped, but life goes on
nonetheless.
● Consideration and Empathy: If
the problem involves others, your
child will learn to be empathetic.
There are two or more sides to
many problematic situations,
and by considering how the
other person thinks or feels –
thinking about their perspective
or experience – your child will
gain a heightened sense of
understanding, awareness and
empathy.
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your toys lying everywhere? What if
someone trips over them and hurts
themself or accidentally stands on
your toys and breaks them? That
will make you sad, won’t it? Please
pack them away so that nothing bad
can happen.” You’re dealing with
the concepts of action, lack of action
and consequences, all in a non-
confrontational manner.
When a situation arises, calmly
talk to your child and help them to
outline the problem. Remember to
avoid judgement. Don’t push hard
for an outcome; rather let them
rationalise what they may do and
guide them gently when they are off
track. If they come up with a good
idea or solution, praise them – this
will empower them and make them
feel proud of themselves, knowing
they are able to think of solutions,
solve problems or think of the effect
on others (the empathy previously
mentioned).
Engaging in a constructive
conversation also creates a safe
space for your child. It builds trust,
so your child will learn that they can
always come to you for guidance.
This approach can also be used
in situations where your child is
misbehaving. Instead of yelling
at them and telling them they are
naughty, sit them down and start
a constructive conversation. Allow
them to think through why they are
behaving that way, knowing that it is
wrong or unacceptable.
EMPOWER THEM
As a parent, your instinct is to solve Some of these situations may create
problems for your child. It is quicker strong emotions – your child may
and easier, but you are not doing feel scared, sad, angry, frustrated or
them any favours – because they will worried. Let them cry or express their
need to acquire and apply the skill frustration so they get to explore how
of problem-solving all through life, they feel. Once the situation is over,
from childhood to adolescence and help them reflect on their choices and
on to adulthood. As with anything in the outcome and how it made them
life, this needs plenty of practice in feel afterwards.
different scenarios. Finally, remember that we learn a
great deal from making mistakes.
The question you may now ask is: It is how we manage them that
“How do I teach this in the moment?” matters.
In an immediate situation, apply the
concepts relating to action, lack of
action, outcomes, or consequences.
For example, you can apply the
skills of problem-solving to a simple
situation like your child leaving their
toys in a mess. Address the situation
by saying to your child: “Why are all
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