Page 20 - IFV Issue 11 November 2023

Today’s Child

• Being a ‘friend’ of your teen on Instagram handed over at a particular time and to a 4. Discuss the do’s of social media,
does not mean you can see what they particular place every night. Teens should not only the don’ts
have posted. They are able to hide their not have their phones accessible to them It is more useful to discuss a post that
feed from you. You cannot access where throughout the night. Sleep, academics represents your character and values
others have tagged them in posts, and social relationships will suffer. versus “don’t post something that will
photos or videos or who your teen is 3. Passwords and access embarrass you”. I say this because at the
direct messaging. This one is tricky because I personally time of posting, the teen did not think
• Teens have more than one account. believe teens need limited privacy. their post was embarrassing or they
• Decoy apps allow teens to hide their Ideally, your teen should not have would not have posted it in the first
photos and videos, make secret calls passwords you do not know or deny place. Discuss how they can positively
and message people. you access from their phones. As a use Instagram to their benefit.
parent, it would be wise to check all
The lesson to be learnt is that as their social platforms periodically. The Where to from here?
technology advances, teenagers will best approach, which is certainly not Parents and educators may take the
never stop moving towards these foolproof, is perhaps to discuss the stance that the solution is simply not to
advances. concept of limited privacy. This means use it. But if it is not Instagram, it will be
Banning social media is not realistic. that as a parent, you may request access something else. Social media is not going
Social media can be beneficial in building to your teen’s phone. The degree of anywhere – in fact, it is advancing daily.
relationships, supporting causes and privacy you afford your teen should The solution lies in building resilience
joining movements. Not only can teens perhaps be aligned with the degree of and self-esteem. If teens are feeling good
use social media in their favour, but they worrisome behaviour and the level of about themselves, they will not compare
will also be increasingly expected to do guidance your individual teen requires. so strongly or take things so personally.
so. Teens are under age; therefore, you Social media may make us forget
as a parent are legally responsible for how good real life actually is because
What parents can do what goes on on their phones. But more it perpetuates what we do not have,
The role of the parents becomes importantly, remember that they are how we do not look, the holidays we do
one of education, of teaching teens not experienced in the world yet. They not take. We need to pause, get some
not to use social media less but to use need assistance and guidance to grow perspective and remind our teens, and
it purposefully. Online education and into kind, accountable and responsible perhaps ourselves too, that living in the
guidance, provided through constant people. tangible, real world is great!
conversation, is needed. Here are some
suggestions for how parents can navigate
this:
1. Set the standard
Unlike rules, which restrict negative
behaviours, set standards that encourage
positive behaviours. Setting standards
takes practice, and when a family agrees
to live by the same standards, they keep
each other accountable. Lead by example
by having an Instagram account with no
nasty comments, and do not follow any
inappropriate people or sites.
2. Take screen time
Behaviour is learned. Teens will not
behave inappropriately if they are not
exposed to inappropriate content.
Therefore, see what they are accessing
and for how long. Even if your family
does not have linked phones, there is
nothing preventing you as a parent from
instituting a rule that all phones get

18 • Issue 11 2023 • The Villager