Page 15 - IFV Issue 6 June 2024

Today’s Child

It’s important that you help your child

articulate what is happening to them.

How you do this will depend on their age.

not to be labelled a “snitch”, hence the isolation or moodiness down to Look at where your child is thriving
apathy shown by our society towards hormones, teenage angst or a phase and consider the subjects or activities
whistleblowers. they are going through. It is essential that interest them. If they have a hobby
Interestingly, only 4% of kids surveyed that you as a parent encourage open they’re passionate about or if they are
said that they knew someone who had and honest communication with your involved in a favourite sport, help them
been bullied. This is because bullies can child and make this a normal part of the use this as a channel for positivity and
be subtle and often ensure that their family dynamic. affirmation.
actions are not seen, or when they are If your child is uncharacteristically Equip your child with knowledge
in public, their bullying behaviour is bad-tempered, avoids school, avoids about the dangers of the online world
disguised as horseplay and the victim discussing school or shows a dramatic – it’s similar to warning them about
is too embarrassed to speak out, often shift in their academic performance, it stranger danger. Help them to navigate
chuckling along just to fit in. is cause for concern. Physical signs such social media in a responsible way and
Twenty years ago, if a child was being as cuts or bruises, unexplained damage, be sure to take an interest in their online
bullied at school, going home at the end or the loss of their belongings are also life. This can be tough when you have
of the school day was a reprieve. But red flags. older teens; the solution is to keep a
in today’s world, the bully follows the healthy channel of communication wide
child into the sanctity of their private What to do when your child is open.
space, thanks to social media. Incidents being bullied The internet is ruthless – once
of cyberbullying are on the rise and The most important thing you can do something is out there, there is no
rise, and unfortunately, legislation has is listen and let your child feel heard. taking it back. Children need to realise
lagged when it comes to seeking legal Personalise it by sharing your own this, and they should never say or post
recourse. experiences if you were bullied as a anything online that they wouldn’t
Even with the introduction of the child, but be careful not to undermine share in person.
Cybercrimes Act – which aims to reduce their experience by implying that it is If your child is being taunted or bullied
and prevent cybercrime in South Africa normal behaviour that every child needs online – be it by someone they know or
– it is difficult to avoid cyberbullying and to deal with. a stranger – understand that they need
to seek help. Speak to your child’s teacher and seek to feel safe in order to speak up about
guidance, but don’t confront the bully it. This means that you as a parent need
Consequences of bullying or the bully’s parents. It is natural for to be open-minded. Never retaliate by
The effects of bullying on the victim’s parents to be defensive and protect their belittling the child’s enjoyment of online
emotional and mental health are far- children, but this will not fix anything. gaming or social media. It is part of their
reaching. The victim can lose their You must also seek the necessary world, and they must learn to navigate
self-esteem and spiral into a state of support for your child and yourself so as it safely.
depression and anxiety. This leads to to equip them with the tools they need If you suspect or discover that your
further consequences such as substance to handle the situation. Counselling is child is bullying another child, it is just
abuse, self-mutilation, or even suicide. highly recommended. as important to seek expert help and
Sometimes the victim is forced to move It’s important that you help your support. It’s about getting to the root of
to a different school to escape the child articulate what is happening to the problem so that it doesn’t become a
constant humiliation. them. How you do this will depend long-term issue. Also, it’s important for
on their age. Methods include getting you to assure your child that you love
Signs your child is being bullied the child to draw and describe their them unconditionally and to guide them
Children often suffer in silence, and pictures or going for a milkshake and on how to go about setting matters right
some parents put their child’s self- having a good talk. with the people they’ve bullied.

The Villager • Issue 6 2024 • 13