Page 17 - IFV Issue 7 August 2025

Today’s Child

• They just need a nudge and a sense of jacks, feeding the dog, a quick squiggle
structure. drawing, or a silly walk around the table.
• Switch the setting – Change the
Pause when: scenery – outside table, beanbag corner,
• Their shoulders slump the moment kitchen floor. The brain responds to
you mention homework. novelty.
• There are tears, meltdowns, or • Let them teach you – Ask them to
shutdowns. explain a concept. “Pretend I don’t know
• They can’t explain the task, even after anything about fractions.” This builds
re-reading it. confidence and helps solidify learning.
• They’re showing signs of emotional
distress, frustration, or fear. When it’s more than you can hold
Sometimes, permission to pause is alone
the greatest gift you can give – even if it If homework resistance becomes the
means sending a short note to the teacher norm rather than the exception – if every
and saying, “We tried, but today was too evening ends in shouting or tears – it’s
much. Let’s try again tomorrow.” time to bring the teacher into the loop.
And you don’t have to wait for a crisis or
What helps (without the drama) term-end meeting to do it.
Most of us didn’t grow up with co-working Try saying something like: “We’re
tables or mindfulness breaks – we were seeing real distress at home around
told to “just get it done.” But we also didn’t homework, even when we’re available
grow up in a world this fast, noisy, or to help. We’d love to find a gentler path
emotionally demanding. forward together.”
Most teachers would rather adapt or
Here are some simple, modern- clarify than see a child spiral into dread.
day tweaks that support without You’re not making excuses – you’re
overwhelming: advocating for your child’s capacity and
• The 15-minute sprint – Set a visible mental health.
timer. Make it a game. “Let’s see what you
can do in 15 minutes.” Break the work You’re still the safe place
Knowing when to push and when into chunks and build in planned brain At the end of the day, your relationship
to pause breaks. with your child matters far more than
There’s no universal script for this – some • Co-working time – Sit at the same table whether they completed every last
days, a bit of encouragement is exactly with your laptop or a book. No hovering, question on the worksheet. Homework
what they need. Other days, no amount no correcting – just quiet presence. shouldn’t cost your connection.
of stickers, snacks, or logic will cut through You’re doing your work, they’re doing You don’t need to be the tutor, the
the emotional static. theirs. It creates calm accountability. coach, the motivator, the therapist,
• Checklist magic – Together, make a and the enforcer. You’re allowed to say:
Gentle push when: visual to-do list. Let them tick it off. Even “I’m here. I see you. We’ll figure this out
• They’re procrastinating, but still light- the act of writing “1. Open book” helps together.” Because the most powerful
hearted. create momentum. kind of learning doesn’t come from fear
• The work is well within their ability, but • Brain breaks that actually reset – or pressure. It comes from feeling safe
motivation is low. Not just “go run around.” Try: five jumping enough to try again.

By the time your child gets home from school, they’ve likely already spent

six to eight hours sitting still, masking emotions, following social cues,

absorbing lessons, avoiding embarrassment, and trying their best to hold

it all together. That’s a full workday in anyone’s language

The Villager • August 2025 • 15