Page 15 - IFV Issue 8 August 2026

Estate News

school without anyone questioning what understand why they can perform possibility-driven thinking that supports
it takes for her to keep up. brilliantly one day and struggle to begin creativity can also lead to distraction,
For Dr Shirley, outward achievement the next. unfinished work or an unsafe decision
is a poor measure of whether a child is Dr Shirley sees this self-judgement as involving a pressure cooker.
struggling. one of the less visible consequences of late Dr Shirley cautions against reducing
A bright girl may rely on intelligence, recognition. By adulthood, many women ADHD to either a deficit or a gift. The
anxiety, adult prompting or last-minute are carrying more than the practical difficulties are real, but so are the abilities.
pressure to produce acceptable results. effects of ADHD. They are also carrying Understanding needs to make room for
The mark shows what she handed in. It years of explanations about who they are. both. For parents and teachers, that may
does not show how much support held A later understanding can bring relief, mean recognising that more tutoring or
the process together, or what it cost her but it can also reopen old questions. more pressure is not always the answer.
emotionally. “Perhaps I would have understood A child who knows the content may need
For Maggie, attention was never simply myself better,” Maggie says. “Perhaps I help starting, sequencing, estimating time
absent. would have been kinder to myself. Perhaps or managing several instructions at once.
“I can’t always control what I pay I would have spent less time wondering Recognition does not remove
attention to,” she says. why I couldn’t get my potential to match responsibility or expectations. It makes
She could delay studying until the final my performance.” support more accurate.
possible moment, but wake at 3 am as a Her story also asks parents and teachers Maggie no longer sees ADHD as
Grade 4 child and teach herself to make to look beyond the final result. something that needs to be fixed. She
sushi because her father had mentioned A child may understand the work but sees it as something that needs to be
that he felt like eating it. struggle to begin it. She may explain a understood.
As an adult, she could lose belongings complex idea beautifully, then lose marks “If there is one thing I wish someone
throughout the day, then develop a because she missed one instruction. She had told younger me,” she says, “it is that
business idea, build an investor pitch and may complete an excellent project in a there was never anything wrong with me.
present it within a week. frantic final night and appear to have My brain was working differently.”
This inconsistency is one of the aspects proved that she could have done it sooner. That understanding now follows her
of ADHD that other people often find The more useful question is often not into her work with children.
hardest to understand. If someone can simply whether the child can do the work, “The goal isn’t to create a different child.
focus intensely on one task, why can but how she is managing to do it. The goal is to help that child become the
she not begin another that she knows is Dr Shirley believes the wider picture best version of who they already are.”
important? matters: sleep, fatigue, anxiety, emotional
Dr Shirley explains that ADHD affects regulation, confidence, family conflict
the regulation and direction of attention. and the amount of prompting required.
Interest, novelty, urgency and immediate A child can be succeeding on paper while
consequence may engage the brain more the system supporting that success is
effectively than importance alone. becoming unsustainable.
That is why a looming deadline can Maggie has also begun to see the
produce hours of intense work after weeks qualities connected to the way she thinks.
of being unable to start. As an occupational therapist, she
“Give me six months to do something, understands creativity as practical
and I might struggle to get started,” problem-solving: noticing connections,
Maggie says. “Give me six hours, and finding another route and asking what
suddenly I become remarkably efficient.” else might work. Her curiosity can carry This article draws on Maggie Wong’s
From the outside, this may look like her deeply into a subject, while her own personal account. Her full story is available
working well under pressure. From the experience of being misunderstood here
inside, it can mean relying on panic to has shaped the way she sees struggling Personal stories like Maggie’s help us
create focus, often at the cost of sleep, children. understand how ADHD presents beyond
confidence and calm. “You notice the child who is trying but the textbook. No two people experience it
Over time, inconsistency begins not succeeding,” she says. “You notice the in exactly the same way, but recognising
to feel like a character flaw. Women person who feels overlooked.” these patterns can help more women and
describe themselves as lazy, careless This does not make ADHD a simple girls seek appropriate assessment and
or undisciplined because they cannot strengths story. The same quick, support.” — Dr Moray Shirley

The Villager • August 2026 • 13