Page 34 - Silverlakes December 2021

TODAY’S CHILD

LET’S GET ON WITH LIVING

By Dr Ilse Ruane

s we emerge from what feels like a Setting boundaries is often the first port others will like us. But if the fear is too high,
post-apocalyptic COVID-19 context, of call in putting the past behind us. it can be counter-productive. Constantly
Alet’s start afresh in a proactive way Setting boundaries and speaking up when wondering whether others like us enough
and get on with living. There are times in someone crosses us is an inherent part of can evoke anxiety, leading to neediness and
our lives when we feel we are not getting self-care and healing. insecurity, which in turn drives others away
anywhere or managing to move forward. It from us.
is at these times that we need to take stock Consciously choose only to hold on to the
of where we are in our lives and re-evaluate feelings that make you happiest. Choose One way to break this vicious cycle is to
our goals, dreams and passions. to spend your time surrounded by people be consistently kind and considerate. That
who add value to you and your family. way, you will worry less about what others
We need to challenge our comfortable think of you. This is for two reasons. Firstly,
positions and move beyond our comfort What other people think of you is others will naturally like you more when
zones to experience a fuller life. We start none of your business you are kind and considerate. Secondly,
this process by consciously looking at the There is a good reason we worry so even if your actions are misinterpreted or
following things that hold us back: much about what others think of us. It is lead to unforeseen negative outcomes, you
because we want to be liked, so that we will know in your heart that you had good
Make peace with the past can develop our relationships with them. intentions. That will give you the mental
If we continue to dwell in the past, it In other words, our worrying about what freedom not to worry as much about what
eventually affects the future. You must others think of us stems from the fear that others think of you.
make peace with your past at some point we may not have friends and be cared for.
in your life to be able to move forward and This fear can sometimes be useful as it can Recognise that hurt people hurt
grow. It starts with making quality choices motivate us to behave in more considerate people
as to what you permit having influence and ways or in a more appropriate manner as This means that even if you do your best to be
impact over your life. such behaviour increases the chance that kind and considerate, you may still be judged

32 | INTRAMUROS DECEMBER 2021