Page 35 - SilverLakes_Issue 3_2022

TODAY’S CHILD

• Talk
When your child is angry or venting
their frustrations, calmly sit them down
and ask them to explain to you why they
are unhappy. Ask them how they think
they may solve the problem or issue,
and then help them think through other
options if necessary. This also helps to
build problem-solving skills, rational
thinking and empathy if it involves
others.

• Check in every day
Maybe at dinner time, ask them what
they enjoyed about the day and what
made them feel happy. Then in contrast,
Top tips for teaching children to cope No one really enjoys stress, and it is all too ask them what they didn’t like and
with frustration easy to act out on it. When you can see how this made them feel. The elevated
• Stay calm frustration and stress mounting in your consciousness will start to permeate
If your child is angry or throwing a child’s demeanour, encourage them to naturally into their thoughts and will
tantrum, there is no point in you joining take a walk in the garden or to stretch their increasingly benefit their ability to
in! Calmly try to quieten them, remove arms to the sky and take a deep breath … rationalise and therefore cope.
them from the situation, if need be, anything that will distract them from the
and let them have a cry if that is what moment and bring calm. • Feeling
they need. Your calmness will transfer to By acknowledging your child’s emotions,
them. - Encourage them to talk to you and tell you are helping them to feel supported,
you what’s bugging them. loved and safe. They will learn to think
• Stress less - Tell them what you’ve observed in their things through and know that you are
Stress is normal and unavoidable. In behaviour – maybe they were quiet or a sounding board for them. By the time
some instances, it can spur positive they looked sad or they were crying. Your they are teenagers, you will be very
behaviour. But too much stress can observations of their body language will thankful for this bond of trust.
shut us down and decrease our ability help them focus on their experience.
to function optimally. When we feel - Ask them why they are feeling stressed So, in summary, mindfulness helps children
stressed, it becomes more difficult to or frustrated. (and adults) to focus, listen, feel and better
access the prefrontal cortex. This renders - Ask them how it makes them feel. manage their emotions. It is calming,
us less capable of problem-solving and - Try to get them to focus on the issue and helps to reduce stress and enables you to
seeing things in perspective. Stress also the emotion, but as two separate things function better and to cope.
makes us less empathic and less creative. – because these are not one and the
same. The two concepts of mindfulness and
We all know that stress can also affect - Maybe encourage a physical or fun active living are intertwined. Mindfulness
one’s health and one’s confidence. It can activity as a destressor. results in active, conscious living. The skill
result in depression when children feel - Very importantly, try to manage your is to focus on “being” and not “doing”. It
they can’t cope. This will become even own stress too. That way, you will be might sound airy-fairy or silly, but give it
more of a factor as your child moves into better equipped to help your child a try – you have nothing to lose and much
the teenage and young adult years. manage theirs. to gain.

INTRAMUROS APRIL 2022 | 33