Page 35 - Silver Lakes Issue 3 March 2023

TODAY’S CHILD

When someone comments on “the mess Teens are a special bunch. They love drama The adult in the room
our country is in”, bring examples of how and thrills. They will jump on whatever Some things need to be kept only within
things can be done differently. Suggest narrative a parent brings into the home. adult conversation. Bringing all your
solutions and ask your children how they They will mirror your negativity, but they will conversations and actions into your child’s
would deal with the current challenges. also mirror your positivity. world may cause more harm than good.
Remember: these young minds are the Teach them to be prepared for situations,
future leaders of our country. We need to Engage your teens constructively during but don’t instil in them a fear of the
help them develop their critical thinking tricky times. For example, when seeking your unknown. For children, the unknown is
and a range of responses, so they’re able teen’s input about social media, encourage even more daunting than it is for adults.
to function in crisis situations and within them to critically evaluate what they see on Being the adult in the room is linked to
an ever-changing world. the different online platforms. Encourage the idea of modelling behaviour so that
them also to use their personal social media children can learn from it.
Social media very intentionally. I say this because we can’t 1. The adult in the room is us parents.
Children listen and absorb everything, avoid social media or protect our children It’s a huge responsibility but it needn’t
like little sponges. For instance, the from its influence. be overwhelming. Being the adult in
performance of the song Unholy at this the room means walking your talk. It
year’s Grammys was widely criticised If your child doesn’t have a cellphone or means learning to respond and not to
as being “satanic” (I am not making doesn’t have Instagram, they’re still not react. For example, if you say you’re
a judgement call here, I am merely protected – because chances are, some of against bullying, don’t speak badly
commenting on it). While I understand their friends have them. Today’s kids actively about someone or start fights in your
where the criticism comes from, I would forward things to each other via the “safer social circle. It’s incongruent behaviour
suggest that there are better ways to apps” like WhatsApp or iMessage and SMS. – we can’t tell our children to resolve
pursue such a discussion. They have a wealth of knowledge at their things respectfully if it doesn’t extend
fingertips. We can’t contain their exposure to us. This includes comments about the
Children read this immediate reaction to to the virtual world, but we can create “useless” waiter at the restaurant. Watch
the performance, and react too. We need spaces for them to question and unpack the what you say as your kids grow up doing
to be careful in how we communicate content online by having face-to-face, open as you do, rather than doing as you say.
around these types of issues as children discussions.
become increasingly anxious when Being the adult in the room means
arguments are not thoroughly unpacked. These open discussions mean you, as a treating people with dignity and respect
In reference to this performance at the parent, need to suspend emotive reactions. and demonstrating to your children how
Grammys, I would suggest that parents It’s about getting to know your child and to behave with integrity. And being the
unpack the topic with their children. enabling easy communication. Be prepared adult can also mean leading from behind
for some embarrassing questions at times. at times. This is especially true with
Discuss the facts and how your children
feel about the performance. If it’s within
your religious conviction, discuss the
religious concerns. Ask your children what
they think. Conversing about religion
with teenagers is usually difficult as teens
tend to adopt an opposing stance; this
behaviour is age-appropriate. However, if
the discussion is open and non-emotive,
and focuses on imparting information,
then much more learning can take place.
The converse is also true.

If an event has not had a major effect on
your children, perhaps it’s better left in
the background. The rule of thumb is to
unpack what they bring, raise awareness
of what they do not know about yet, and
pause when the subject may create more
unease by unpacking it than by leaving it in
the waiting room.

INTRAMUROS MARCH 2023 | 33