Page 36 - Silver Lakes Issue 3 March 2023

TODAY’S CHILD

teens. Parenting is a balancing act: you A better course of action is to ask your Timing
create a holding environment where teen what they think and feel about a Timing is everything. Try not to launch into
children can explore with confidence subject. Try not to get caught up in the a conversation about any tricky situation
and test new behaviours because as negatives. Find golden moments where that arises while disciplining your teen for
soon as they turn and look backwards, you bring something that differs from the not unpacking the dishwasher. Decide what
you are there offering your reassurance dominant, problem-saturated story. This and when to discuss challenges.
and support. will help your teen develop a narrative
where they can see the story from a bigger Younger children need more direct
2. Stick to the facts. There is so much news perspective. conversations. Answer only what is asked;
circulating that filtering out the true there is no need to volunteer information
facts can be exhausting. When in doubt, It also creates an empowering space not required.
stick to what you know for sure. This is a where they can do things differently from
good opportunity for teens to get active how others are doing things. Teenagers But older children and teens can think
and fact check for themselves, so they need to develop a strong sense of self as abstractly about topics and we want them
are certain of any information they post they will go out into a world which doesn’t to develop their critical thinking processes
online. necessarily promote the morals and values so that they develop strong moral
your family ascribes to. compasses and behavioural repertoires
Teach them to separate feelings from that serve them well in the future.
facts. Feelings cloud facts, and no good Encourage your children to listen to their
decisions are made when emotions run intuition. There are times, places and even Parenting can be overwhelming…
high. people who you just get a gut feel about. It is easy to become overwhelmed by your
It may not be logical as nothing wrong has emotions, and it is difficult to disconnect
3. Model behaviour that allows for happened. Tell your kids that should they from what’s happening around you. During
difficult conversations. Try not to avoid be somewhere and feel that something challenging times, it is normal to want to
the difficult conversations. is wrong, they need to phone home or make a change and analyse where you fit in
get out of the situation or away from the to what’s going on. The anxiety and stress
Engage your children proactively about person without having to explain why. you’re experiencing feels inappropriate
their feelings. There is no need to correct
their feelings or disagree with them.
Just sit with them so they understand
that it’s okay to feel scared, angry and
confused. The education starts with
them learning how to respond to those If you see one in the distance, respect its need
feelings. for personal space. Do not approach it, even
to get a photo, and give it as much room as
When your child asks you something
you’re unsure of, allow yourself the possible. Consider turning around and leaving
space to say: “I don’t know, but I am the way you came. If you encounter one in
going to find out.” Contrary to what
we think, our children don’t need us close proximity, stop what you are doing.
to have all the answers. It’s refreshing, Back away slowly, preferably in the direction
and possibly an even greater learning
opportunity, when an adult tells a child: you came. Walk, don’t run, and keep your eye
“I don’t know; let’s find out.” on it so you can see how it will react. In most

Approaching a teen for a chat cases, it will flee.
It’s very much like the following post
about what to do if you encounter a bear
or a teenager. With teens, you need to Instructions on what to do if you encounter
speak with them and not to them. Direct a bear or a teenager.
questioning and instruction may not yield
constructive responses or actions. Our Whitney Fleming | Playdates on Fridays.
well-intentioned views and comments are
perceived as preaching, lecturing or, at
best, self-serving.

34 | INTRAMUROS MARCH 2023