Page 36 - Waterfall City Issue 11 November 2023

Waterfall City Today’s Child

value things because there are so many Traditionally, discipline is used activity that they enjoy, such as baking
rewards, and nothing is special. as a negative consequence or a cupcakes on Saturday, going fishing at
discouragement to correct undesirable the lake or visiting friends. This should
THE MOST IMPORTANT behaviour. This equates discipline with not be held as a condition, but if you can
BUILDING BLOCKS OF punishment and excludes a crucial part give your child a goal to work towards, it
PARENTHOOD of the formula – reward. The parental can act as a strong motivator.
1. Unconditional love – children need team (mother, father and/or caregiver)
to know they are intrinsically okay should agree that punishment must I have also witnessed the success of
and good enough, and that they do always be age-appropriate, and the rule various creative behavioural charts. For
not have to perform for you to accept of thumb is consistency. This teaches some ideas, visit www.kidpointz.com.
them unconditionally. children about consequences and to
2. Consistency – children flourish when think before they act. WHAT CAN I DO TO
there are routines. If life (and discipline) REVERSE THE EFFECTS?
is predictable, they can work out how It is never acceptable to physically 1. Make sure your children aren’t
to control their part in it and learn to punish a child when you are angry – this defining their happiness and their
take responsibility. In this way, they models undesirable behaviour. Ideal status in the world as a function
develop a sense of self-esteem. behaviour, not the patterns of behaviour of what they wear or drive. Sit
3. Availability – children thrive on listed earlier in the article, should be down with them and have a one-
knowing they can count on you to rewarded consistently. on-one conversation about what
be there, whether it is to listen, help, really defines their worth – their
support or just be a witness to their The rewards should not be material in intelligence, their creativity, being
accomplishments. By giving of your nature. Rather, they should consist of caring, being giving, their work ethic,
time, you will create an environment positive verbal responses such as “well etc.
conducive to conversation and shared done”, “great job” or “way to go”. You 2. Make sure your child understands the
experiences. can also reward them with a special value of hard work. The difference
between winners and losers is that
winners do things losers don’t want
to do – they work hard to get ready to
be a star! Help your children set goals.
Teach them that striving to own nice
things is fine if they understand how
much hard work it takes to be able to
afford them.
3. Your children do not have to love you
every minute of the day. They’ll get
over the disappointment of having
been told “no”. But they won’t get over
the effects of being spoilt.
4. Set age-appropriate boundaries so
that children go after life exuberantly,
testing the limits. You can start during
the toddler years.
5. Be consistent. Always do what you
say you’re going to do. If you tell your
children a particular behaviour will
have consequences, they should
know you mean it. “This time I’m really
taking the toy away if you don’t play
nicely” doesn’t work when you’ve
already said it 10 times. Reinforce
positive behaviour more than you
harp on about negative behaviour
and show your approval when they
say “please” and “thank you” and when
they play gently with friends.
6. Talk openly about acceptable
behaviour as they get older. School-

34 Waterfall City Issue 11 2023