Page 37 - Waterfall City Issue 11 November 2023

age and adolescent children are and young child to find this delicate, Often, when parents decide to reverse
capable of insight, so sit down and critical balance between freedom the tide, they focus too much on “no”
try to work out problems together. and limits. and on punishment. But it isn’t about
For example, if you ask a child “Why 9. Don’t let your guilt get in the way cracking down; it’s about creating a
are you doing this?”, the child may of your parenting. Your job as a value system that enables your child to
not be able to tell you. But if you say, parent is to prepare your children learn life skills. Remember: the shock of
“I wonder why this keeps happening”, to succeed in school and prepare changing everything means we change
that open-ended question may give them for when they go out into the nothing, so take it slowly. You have to
the child room to speculate. You may world. You don’t want to teach your make slow, progressive changes to get
be surprised by what you learn. children that they will get everything it right.
7. Stay calm. Losing your temper over through manipulation, pouting,
bad behaviour only makes you feel crying, door-slamming and guilt
bad and look out of control (similar induction. Suzette Weideman is a clinical
to a spoilt child), and it doesn’t teach psychologist specialising in
the child to behave any better – in Here’s a pertinent question: If you parental guidance, family
fact, the child may well follow your want your children to help clean up, interventions, couples counselling,
bad-tempered examples later in life. how do you get them to do it? You coping through and after
8. A child out of control is a cry for help, say, “We need to get four things done. traumatic incidents, and animal-
not a sign that the child is spoilt. Which do you choose?” Start by doing assisted therapies. For more
Best to start early and set limits it together, then gradually fade out of information, visit:
consistently, and to understand the the picture. Praise your children as they www.suzetteweidemanpsych.co.za
developmental needs of the infant do more.

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