Page 20 - Dainfern Precinct Living Issue 3_2024

TODAY'S CHILD
Initiative
• foster a robust support system for their • Allow your child to make mistakes: successful life.
child, equipping them with the tools Allowing your child to make their own
they need to grow and become more mistakes will help them take a step You can’t force your child into good
independent. forward with their independence. behaviour through reactive responses.
Benefits of lighthouse parenting Mistakes give children a learning Over-the-top intense reactions followed
opportunity to grow from and apply
by withdrawal just end up in a power
Some benefits of this approach include their new understanding by themselves struggle. The key is to give children
better problem-solving and active problem- in the future. Preparing your child to consequences that work. The right
coping, increased independence rates, a make the best choices possible will set consequences motivate your child to
solid parent-child bond surrounding trust them up positively in the future. develop insight into how problems or
and support, decreased engagement in life circumstances may or may not play
risky behaviour, more excellent academic out. They put you back in control and
success rates, emotional security, • Set clear and protective rules: teach your child how to problem-solve,
Lighthouse parents can be flexible
resilience, self-reliance, and self-esteem giving your child the skills needed to be a
development. It is achieved through the and listen to their child’s views, but successful adult.
clear rules and expectations are
following:
still in place. Rules and boundaries
• Support your child: Lighthouse’s guide should be based on protecting your • Air-fryer parenting backfires because
and provide a stable grounding point. child from any physical, moral, or there are no mediating role players:
Practically, this is done by encouraging psychological dangers that may Understandably, parents today fear
your child to try new activities that threaten their safety. they won’t be able to control their
interest them, even if they are children. The media, the online world,
scared. Allow your child to choose their Shift your focus from: and their children’s peers are just too
friend group and encourage them to “I am going to do everything I can great an influence. Many parents fall
socialise. Comfort your child when they to ensure my child has the least into the trap of using intensity and
fail a test, lose a game, or face another unhappiness.” control to offset the power of these
difficulty. outside influences. Unfortunately,
To… their reactive nature of intensity is
• Develop trust: Lighthouse parenting a shortcut that doesn’t work in the
revolves around balance, which means “I am going to do everything I can long term. Parents need to be able
trust should be developed on both to plant the right seeds to empower to teach their children how to deal
sides of the parent-child relationship. my child to get through anything with these powerful influences on
Parents need to trust their children and everything without losing their own. One of the problems with
to make their own decisions and confidence and self-worth”. this type of parenting is that when
remember the boundaries that are THE “AIR-FRYER PARENT” the child leaves the home, they don’t
in place, and in return, children need know how to behave independently.
to trust that their parents are setting Air-fryer parents are either completely Then, they get into the kind of trouble
switched off or blasting intense heat. This
reasonable boundaries to protect that the parents were afraid of in the
them. intense heat causes a protective crispy first place.
crust to form around their children. This
form of parenting might be considered • Moderating emotional regulation
• Communicate openly: Talking to healthier than helicopter parenting since builds self-efficacy: I realise that
your child is a great way to build they do not use conventional methods. many parents don’t intend to parent
trust, strengthen the parent-child Still, it ends up being just as bad for the like this. Some of us lose our cool
relationship, and learn more about child as for everyone else in the family and react to the situation by yelling.
your child. Respect your child’s system. It’s an aggressive approach but But yelling doesn’t work. If it did, we
opinions, interests, and viewpoints, ineffective at cleaning up your child’s would all have compliant children.
even if they differ from yours. Share messes because it propels the child Parents often react to their children
your perspectives and views as well forward at a high intensity and then without thinking because they believe
and have open communication in withdraws, leaving them lost. they need to get their children to
your relationship. No one knows what understand the situation or change
another person is thinking or feeling The effects of air-fryer parenting their behaviour immediately. This
unless they ask, and the more you ask, Air-fryer parenting is an unsuccessful desperation allows your child’s
the more you learn. dance between being overinvolved and behaviour to determine how you
letting go. It stems from a point of fear behave rather than the other way
and desperation in the parent. When around. We must model appropriate
you use an intense, then back-off- behaviour if we expect it from our
again approach as a parenting style, it children. Therefore, if we come in hot,
often solves your short-term problem we are demonstrating to our children
of controlling children. These types of just how overwhelmed we are with
parents can initially get the compliance the situation.
they are looking for. But it comes at a
cost. It may lead to severe problems
for children and how they grow up The shift needs to happen to be a
to deal with the adult world. lighthouse parent—helicopters control,
Too often, it leads children to air-fryers burn, while lighthouses
be victims because that’s the guide. Helicopters fly around, air-fryers
role they’ve been assigned demand, while lighthouses stay firm,
in their family, or they can be stable, and consistent. And possibly
oppositional and demanding most importantly, helicopters shoot
because that’s what was modelled down potential threats, air-fryers come in
for them by their parents. Neither blowing intense all-or-nothing approach
role increases the child’s chance of force to keep control, and lighthouses
developing their potential and creating a illuminate the path.