Page 19 - Dainfern Precinct Living Issue 3 2025

ADOLESCENCE
cleanly on a graph. It shows up in nuance,
And sometimes — especially in twice- in contradiction, in the child who’s years
exceptional (2E) kids — these signs show ahead in one area and struggling in an-
up alongside real challenges. other. Find a psychologist who gets that.
Speech delays. Auditory processing is- Someone who sees past the scores and
sues. ADHD. Dyslexia. Autism. helps you understand the soul.

They can mask each other. A child may How to Support Your Child Without Turn-
be so bright that their struggles are ing Them Into a Project
overlooked, or so challenged that their This one’s personal.
brilliance is doubted. As a parent of a profoundly gifted,
dyslexic, autistic child, I’ve walked the
That’s why giftedness doesn’t always look tightrope between fierce advocacy and
gifted. Sometimes it looks like anxiety. stage-mom panic. It’s easy to get swept
Sometimes it looks like laziness. Some- up in the potential. To Google schools,
times it looks like a preschool teacher programs, learning pathways, enrichment
telling you, “We’re a bit worried he’s not courses. To want to do something about Nicola Killops
keeping up with the others.” their brightness. Nicola is a writer, gifted
education specialist, and
But you know what you’ve seen. But what gifted kids need isn’t pressure. neurodiversity advocate with
And it’s okay to trust that. It’s presence. a particular interest in twice-
exceptional learners. As a mother
“Should I Get Them Assessed?” (A Very Here’s what helps: to a profoundly neurodivergent
Fair Question) • Let them deep-dive into interests. If son, her work blends lived
A formal psychoeducational assess- they want to memorise Greek mythol- experience with practical insight
ment can be incredibly helpful — not for ogy or build volcanoes every week- — helping parents and educators
labelling, but for understanding. It gives end, let them. Obsessions are often better understand the children
you a window into how your child learns, self-regulation tools. who don’t fit the mould, but
processes, responds, and navigates the • Protect their down time. These brains were never meant to.
world. It can also offer clarity in cases burn fast and hot. Boredom and rest
where strengths and challenges blur the are not enemies — they’re essential.
picture. • Model emotional language. Gifted
kids can feel misunderstood, alone, Gifted and 2E children often get lost
When assessments help: or intense. Help them name and in schools that prioritise conformity.
• You’re trying to determine why your • make sense of their feelings. They’re either expected to carry on
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR CHILD IS GIFTED • signs of high ability. • to be brilliant. Mistakes matter. Trying without support or are “managed” with
Celebrate effort. Not everything needs
child is struggling in school, despite
behavioural strategies that miss the
You suspect twice-exceptionality and
matters. Learning to lose matters.
point entirely.
need a full profile.
Normalise being different. Let them
AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT • You need formal documentation for know they don’t have to blend in to What you can do:
belong.
accommodations.
•
Write an “About Me” letter. Share
•
You want to know how best to sup-
port them, not just where they are on They’re not here to impress the world. what helps, what triggers anxiety,
They’re here to be themselves. Let’s keep
what their strengths are.
a bell curve. that front and centre. • Ask for accommodations. These
might include movement breaks,
It doesn’t always start with a perfect report card. In fact, it rarely does When they’re not urgent: When School is the Problem (Or Just Not extra time, alternative formats, or a
Your child is thriving, emotionally bal-
•
the Solution)
calm-down space.
anced, and feels safe and seen. Some schools are amazing. Many are try- • Meet with teachers early. Be collabo-
• You’re already in a school that adapts ing. A few are harmful. rative, but clear. You’re not asking for
to individual needs without needing If your child is misunderstood, chronically special treatment — you’re asking for
formal reports. anxious, or visibly shutting down in the support.
• You’re exploring things intuitively and classroom, it’s time to pay attention. You
feel well-supported doing so. may hear phrases like: And if the school simply won’t meet your
Remember, an assessment is a tool — not • “They just need to try harder.” child where they are?
a verdict. • “They’re too sensitive.” You’re allowed to move on.
• “They’re bright, but they’re not applying No school — no matter how prestigious —
And giftedness doesn’t always show up themselves.”Sound familiar? is worth your child’s wellbeing.
The Mindset That Matters Most Final Thoughts: See the Whole Child
You don’t need to get this perfect. You don’t need a ten-step Giftedness is not a destination. It’s a way of being in the world.
plan or a gifted parenting certificate. A different tempo. A different texture.
You just need to see your child clearly — in all their brilliance, Your job is not to harness it. It’s to hold it.
contradictions, quirks, and needs — and keep showing up.
The real work of raising a gifted or 2E child is not about pushing
You will doubt yourself. potential — it’s about protecting personhood.
You will get it wrong sometimes.
You will feel like the only parent in the room with this kind of So let them be small. Let them be strange. Let them be
child. magnificent and messy and loud and lost and luminous.
And then you’ll find others.
You’ll find us. Let them be loved for who they are, not what they can do.

And you’ll realise: you’re not alone, and neither is your child. That’s where the journey begins.

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