Page 22 - Fourways Gardens February 2021

Lifestyle

dating: 101

B y Michelle r a y M ond

In an age filled with social media, Tinder and image by Gerd altmann from Pixabay
virtual dating, are we creating the proper
foundations for a healthy relationship?

his seems to be the time of hi- right for you. Life is complicated enough fight. Gaining an understanding of your
speed relationships, where one without the added stress of unhealthy partner's financial aspirations can save
can simply, with the brush of a relationships. you in more ways than one. money should
tfinger, swipe and instantly decide never be a taboo subject in a committed
on the fates of potential partners. Call me 1. Spend a day going through your relationship. start the conversation now
old-fashioned, but it takes a lot more than photo albums and baby pictures with by asking:
a mere gesture to find love. not that i your partner. ask each other questions What lessons did your parents teach you
have anything against dating apps. many like: about money?
of my close friends have found true love Where did you grow up? do you value spending or saving, and
with the help of technology. but what is What were you like as a child? why?
often overlooked is that this is just the how was your childhood?
first step in the long journey to love and What values does your family have? 6. Have a chat with a long-term, happily
marriage. how does your family celebrate special married couple.
occasions? ask them:
Let’s fast forward a bit. those who have What is their secret ingredient to a happy
been in love know how euphoric it is, 2. Babysit a friend’s or family member’s marriage?
but what happens when the honeymoon kids together. What advice can they give you?
phase passes? What happens when you you can ask each other questions like: how do they keep the romance alive?
move from in love to just love? how did your parents discipline you?
how did you feel about it? This all may seem like a lot of effort (and
many people will argue that love is do you want kids? totally unromantic) for dating, but just like
enough, but is it? those who are in a house needs a solid foundation to last
a long-term relationship or stable 3. Do a competitive activity together. through the storms, so do relationships.
marriages will tell you that when times Competition can tell you a lot about a
get tough, or money gets tight, or when person’s character. marriage and children may not be future
someone falls ill, or when babies arrive – pursuits for you, and that is ok. it is ok
love is just not enough. the relationship 4. Take a turn to prepare and cook a to be single. it is ok to be married and
requires compassion, understanding, meal. not have children. it is also ok to not be
communication, honesty, respect and the ask each other: married and have children. your life is
willingness to make it work. and it takes Who did the cooking in your house? yours to live and experience – having the
guts! Marriage is not for sissies (neither is What foods do you love? right kinds of relationships just makes it
parenting for that matter). did your family sit down together for that much better.
meals?
so to set yourself up for success while Who cleaned up and why? michelle raymond is a life and wellness
still in the courtship phase, here are guide, mentor and coach based in
some great guidelines to help you 5. Budget for a holiday or a day out. Fourways. For more information, or to get
decide whether or not your partner is money is often the reason couples in touch, visit www.achievegreatness.co.za

Fourways Gardens • 20 • February 2021