Page 24 - FWG Issue 5 June 2023

Today’s Child

when the perpetrator rarely goes to therapy. • Understand how the behaviour is every action has an equal reaction. More
As a solution, we can implement a behaviour carried out often than not, the bullying behaviour is
management approach at school, on the We approach it by understanding that carried out to cover up the fact that the child
sports field and at home. However, this behaviour is created through patterns. Life in feels insecure, insignificant and threatened
approach is labour-intensive and is therefore general comprises behavioural patterns that by another.
seldom applied. It takes time to set up and produce a desired outcome. These patterns
even more time before results show. are reinforced. For example, bullying We all have the ability to be unkind,
behaviour gets reinforced because the bully and perhaps even to display bullying or
The approach looks something like this: gets to feel powerful. They believe that they domineering behaviours. Every human
are the leader, they are in charge, they are being is capable of behaving in an offensive
• Understand the function of the popular, etc. So, parents and teachers need to manner, but some people have the desire
behaviour observe the daily behaviour of the child and to be educated about it and to grow, while
We need to change how we view the child. see what’s happening in their environment – others choose not to be accountable and
They are no longer a bully but a child with perhaps then they can identify what triggers continue to act in unacceptable ways.
inappropriate behaviour. Bullying is a the negative behaviour. This is what will
desperate way of behaving, so we need to break the behaviour code. It is not enough to support the victim of
get all the facts about the child. This requires the bully; we need to stop the bullying
open and honest talking and a great deal of • Break the behaviour code behaviour itself. We must insist that the bully
understanding. But in the moment of the It sounds easy enough, but it requires lots of take accountability for their behaviour and
transgression, it is difficult not to enter into observation and understanding. Something stop the current way of dealing with the
a power struggle with the child. However, happened before the bullying incident to situation, which entails understanding the
there are many reasons for bullying and the create the need to bully. When we have a behaviour but not actually preventing it
behaviour must not be seen in isolation. behaviour, we also have a consequence – from recurring.

A huge effort is required to change the
system as it constantly reinforces itself.
Therefore, parents and teachers need to
understand that you do what you can, at the
pace you can, when you can. Change will not
happen overnight.

Behaviour is a form of communication, and
as such, it has a function and it occurs in
patterns. If we can find the communication
problem, we start dismantling the
problematic behaviour. That’s where the
level of help is needed.

For a bullying child to learn to

change their behaviour – and
bullying is a behaviour – the child

needs to be receptive. The problem
is that the entire system responds

negatively when bullying occurs,
making the child defensive.

Fourways Gardens • 22 • June 2023