Page 22 - FWG Issue 5 June 2023

Today’s Child

BULLYING:

A BEHAVIOUR

MANAGEMENT APPROACH

B Y DR IL SE RU ANE

ehaviour management is the rebellion. When punishment is punitive, it Discipline cannot follow a textbook. It has to
umbrella that’s often used to has little effect on future behaviour. be tailormade for each particular child and
deal with behavioural issues at situation. There cannot be a “one approach
Bhome and at school. It is also an We need to remember that behaviour is fits all” policy. We need to be constantly
effective way of dealing with bullying. This reactive. As human beings, we respond cognisant of the fact that behaviour is
is because discipline is what’s needed in to a situation in one of three ways: fight, learned – and therefore, behaviour can
the moment of inappropriate behaviour flight or freeze mode. For a bullying child change.
– but discipline needs to be focused on to learn to change their behaviour – and
changing the behavioural outcome in the bullying is a behaviour – the child needs to The causes of bullying are systemic. Bullying
future. be receptive. The problem is that the entire happens within a system and the system
system responds negatively when bullying reinforces the process of bullying. Bullying
The goal must be future-oriented because occurs, making it virtually impossible for therefore serves a function both internally
the here and now is far too emotionally the child to be receptive because he or she and externally for the child. It is at this level
laden to alter without it becoming is on the defence. that we need to intervene and uncover the
punitive. “why” in the child’s behaviour.
The reaction by those in the school
Punishment is one of the tools needed system (parents, teacher, headmaster, Children who exhibit inappropriate bullying
for discipline. Punishment is used when etc) is therefore not necessarily conducive behaviour are generally lacking in empathy,
disciplining, but it needn’t be punitive. to bringing about change. We need to show poor modulation or regulation
Punitive punishment invites retaliation and change and shift the way we see bullying. and poor social reasoning, and display

Fourways Gardens • 20 • June 2023