Page 18 - IFV Issue 10 October 2023
P. 18
Humour
WHAT CONTINENT HAS NO LAND?
BY JAMES CLARKE
kind retired teacher has
sent me some student exam
A howlers, some of which were
new to me. I thought they would
amuse young and old.
Climate is caused by
the emotion of the earth Photo by Bagas Muhammad
around the sun.
The people of Japan ride
around in jig-saws.
These reminded me of that classic unleavened bread which is bread made
The writing of ancient
Egypt is in hydraulics. essay compiled by Richard Lederer, without any ingredients. Afterwards,
an American teacher of English, who Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get
The general direction of
the Alps is straight up. gleaned these pearls of historical the Ten Commandments.
knowledge from student bloopers
The benefit of latitude
and longitude is that dating back to the 19th century. He David was a Hebrew king skilled
when a man is drowning described it as “a history of the world at playing the liar. He fought the
he can call out what through the eyes of students”. The essay Philatelists, a race of people who lived in
latitude and longitude he was published some years ago in his Biblical times. Solomon, one of David’s
is in and we can find him. book, Anguished English. sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.
The climate is hottest
next to the creator. I’ll quote just the beginning: Without the Greeks, we wouldn’t have
Oceania is a continent The inhabitants of Egypt were called history. The Greeks invented three kinds
that contains no land. mummies. They lived in the Sarah of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic.
Climate lasts all the time Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The They also had myths. A myth is a female
but weather lasts only a climate of the Sarah is such that the moth. One myth says that the mother of
few days.
inhabitants have to live elsewhere Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx
The Eskimos are God’s so certain areas of the dessert are until he became intolerable.
frozen people.
cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians
The sun sets in the west built the Pyramids in the shape of a Socrates was a famous Greek teacher
and hurries around to the huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are who went around giving people advice.
east to be in time to rise
the next morning. a range of mountains between France They killed him. He died from an
and Spain. overdose of wedlock. After his death, his
People go to Africa to career suffered a dramatic decline.
hunt rhinostriches.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures.
Imports are ports far In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, The government of Athens was
inland.
Adam and Eve were created from an democratic because the people took the
Inhabitants of Moscow apple tree. One of their children, Cain, law into their own hands. There were no
are called Mosquitoes.
asked, “Am I my brother’s son?” wars in Greece as the mountains were so
The Mediterranean Jacob was a patriarch who brought up high that they couldn’t climb over to see
and the Red Sea are
connected by the Sewage his twelve sons to be patriarchs but they what their neighbours were doing.
Canal. did not take to it. One of Jacob’s sons,
Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites. (Alas, I am out of space so cannot go on
A watershed is a shed in
the middle of the ocean to tell you all the stories about Caesar
where ships shelter during Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to and how “the Ides of March murdered
a storm. make bread without straw. Moses led him and, dying, he gasped “Tee hee
them to the Red Sea where they made Brutus”.)
16 • Issue 10 2023 • The Villager
