Page 16 - IFV Issue 9_2023

Estate News

when it comes to the pressures of a teen at these times, remember to guard time onscreen wisely and concisely.
romance or smoking and drinking. your mental health. This is because Help them to regard the content they
adolescence can be as overwhelming for read online with a critical eye and
4. Controlling the controllables you as for your child. There will be times not to accept what’s written on social
Control what you have control over and when the youngster is more interested in platforms as the truth – often, it isn’t.
try loosening your grip on what you being offensive than in making progress, Also, take the opportunity to teach
cannot control. During adolescence, a big times when whatever you try doesn’t your teen to use their online time
challenge is your child negating routines. work, times when your teen won’t talk or purposefully.
For example, many parents bemoan be reasonable – and won’t listen. • Build your relationship with them:
having spent many hours on the hockey If you’re unsure of how to proceed Do this by focusing on anything but a
field or cricket pitch or by the swimming because things are out of control, go back problem. Watch a movie together, bake,
pool, only to have the teenager decide to the basics. Tick the boxes for a few days do a puzzle – build your connection
on a whim that they no longer want to and your teen will probably reboot, at around benign things.
participate. This extends to your teen no which point some form of normality can
longer wanting to participate in family return and problems can be tackled. 5. Be honest and caring
dinners or Sunday lunches. • Exercise: Done daily, or every second Honesty and encouragement are very
Stand your ground. Try to follow basic day, exercise will make your teenager important when parenting a child. The
routines, the ones that provide comfort happier, even if they complain. It world is a very different place from
and familiarity in their structure. For will probably make you happier, too. when we grew up, and our children
example, your teen no longer wants Exercise affects mood, energy levels, are being exposed to much more at a
to compete at athletics. Rather than learning, and more. much younger age. The navigation of
letting them stop altogether, get them • Sleep: A consistent routine, including knowledge is hard because our children
to commit to practising and exercising consistent bedtime, encourages better are receiving information from multiple
daily regardless of whether or not they sleep. A healthy sleep should last for and often conflicting sources. They rely
want to be competitive. Follow as normal eight hours. Teens tend to be on their on us for the truth.
a schedule as possible. If you used to do phones until late in the night. If your Sometimes a teen may know more
family dinners, retain family dinners. teen is struggling with bedtime, take than they are letting on, but their
Furthermore, try to maintain household their cellphone to another room at a information is often incorrect. They may
rules and discipline as these provide certain time or add downtime to your be put in a position that forces them to
children with security. It is fine to let teen’s phone. App limits are also useful make adult decisions sooner than they
your teens be more independent as they to avoid endless scrolling. should even without the know-how.
become more responsible with age, but do • Screen time: I cannot stress this one Make it easy for them to want to turn to
not abandon rules and consequences just enough. Stay on top of screen time. you for clarity and support.
because they are too difficult to enforce Teens who spend too much time on Parenting isn’t easy. You raise your child
with a teen or because you believe your their phones or tablet screens become in the hope that they will be functional
teen won’t follow them. This is precisely moody and edgy. Open-ended limits members of society, but there are no
the time that follow-through is essential. lead to problems, so set limits where guarantees. Expect your teen to make
When you cannot reason with them possible. Help your child to use their mistakes and know that these mistakes do
not reflect on poor parenting – because
poor (or good) parenting is reflected in
how the parent responds at the time of
the mistake. Being a parent requires you
to be patient, understanding, calm and
honest with your teen, so they can learn
from their mistakes.
Despite your best attempts to protect
your child, you can’t shield them from
everything. Rather, have the goal of
raising a resilient individual, so they
can bounce back after a problem, big
or small, and grow into well-rounded
adults.

14 • Issue 9 2023 • The Villager