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TODAY’S CHILD
PROBLEM-SOLVING BUILDS Consideration and empathy: When a situation arises, calmly
SKILLS If the problem involves others, talk to your child and help
Did you know that problem- your child will learn to be them to outline the problem.
solving skills result in an array empathetic. There are two or Remember to avoid judgement.
of other, different skills being more sides to many problematic Don’t push hard for an outcome;
developed? Some of these are situations, and by considering rather let them rationalise what
listed below, along with tips on how the other person thinks they may do and guide them
how you can hone each one: or feels – thinking about their gently when they are off track.
Logic: In talking through a perspective or experience – your If they come up with a good idea
problem, your child will learn child will gain a heightened or solution, praise them – this
to break down a situation into sense of understanding, will empower them and make
smaller parts or facts. This awareness and empathy. them feel proud of themselves,
helps in a conflict situation, knowing they are able to think
for example, where they learn EMPOWER THEM of solutions, solve problems or
to separate the facts from As a parent, your instinct is to think of the effect on others (the
the story so that only the solve problems for your child. It empathy previously mentioned).
facts are dealt with. If it is is quicker and easier, but you
a multifaceted problem, this are not doing them any favours – Engaging in a constructive
process breaks it up into because they will need to acquire conversation also creates a safe
smaller pieces that fit together and apply the skill of problem- space for your child. It builds
so that they can think about solving all through life, from trust, so your child will learn that
each piece and then what they childhood to adolescence and on they can always come to you for
would like to do to address to adulthood. As with anything in guidance.
it. They will discover that, in life, this needs plenty of practice
most instances, the issue is in different scenarios. This approach can also be used
far smaller than they thought in situations where your child is
it was – and much easier to The question you may now ask misbehaving. Instead of yelling
resolve. is: “How do I teach this in the at them and telling them they
Confidence: Once your child moment?” are naughty, sit them down and
realises that they are in control start a constructive conversation.
and are capable of resolving In an immediate situation, apply Allow them to think through
something, they’ll start to gain the concepts relating to action, why they are behaving that
confidence. This will allow them lack of action, outcomes, or way, knowing that it is wrong or
to become more independent consequences. For example, you unacceptable.
and less reliant on you to help can apply the skills of problem-
them work things out. solving to a simple situation like Some of these situations may
Resilience and coping skills: your child leaving their toys in a create strong emotions – your
As previously discussed, mess. Address the situation by child may feel scared, sad, angry,
conflict and challenges are saying to your child: “Why are all frustrated or worried. Let them
part of life. This skill will equip your toys lying everywhere? What cry or express their frustration so
your child to tackle problems if someone trips over them and they get to explore how they feel.
head-on, instead of shying hurts themself or accidentally Once the situation is over, help
away from them and letting a stands on your toys and breaks them reflect on their choices and
molehill grow into a mountain. them? That will make you sad, the outcome and how it made
They will learn that there is won’t it? Please pack them them feel afterwards.
a solution to every problem away so that nothing bad can
and everything turns out happen.” You’re dealing with the Finally, remember that we learn a
okay; maybe not exactly as concepts of action, lack of action great deal from making mistakes.
they hoped, but life goes on and consequences, all in a non- It is how we manage them that
nonetheless. confrontational manner. matters.
Kyalami Estates • CONNECT • Issue 1 • 2022 17
