Page 28 - Silver Lakes June 2021

TODAY’S CHILD

CHILDREN, TEENS AND GOSSIPING

By Dr Ilse Ruane

The tendency to gossip has been around There is no mistaking it, rumour spreading it also intimidates other people who are
forever. It is seductive and so easy to get and gossiping is destructive. It destroys party to the information. Never mind the
caught up in ‘talking about’ someone else. people’s reputations and causes a range often-forgotten effects that it has on the
Psychologically speaking, we participate of social problems for example, exclusion credibility of the person spreading the
in these types of conversations for a whole and alienation. As parents, educators and stories.
array of reasons, both self and group coaches, we need to teach teens to live
fulfilling. Our children and teens have with integrity. It is common knowledge Sadly, when other children and teens see
joined the trend to utilise gossip, rumours that people love to gossip and we must this kind of thing going on, they do not
and bad-mouthing as social currency. teach teens to refrain from participating always stand up for what is right. They may
in gossip. become less friendly towards the person
here do these ideas stem who is being talked about or even exclude
from? And why do teens Why do teens gossip? them. The reasons for this may be:
Wparticipate in something so The main reason children and teens spread
harmful and often, ironically, having the rumours and gossip is to gain status or they, incorrectly, believe the gossip
contradictory effect. popularity. Others spread rumours out without clarifying the reality with the
of jealousy, fear of competition or to person being spoken about;
Talking about other people and their exclude someone from a group. Spreading
private affairs is one of life’s greatest rumours is a way to turn people against they enjoy being part of the gossiping and
temptations that we all succumb to. It is someone; therefore, it is actually a form may even take the stories further to other
human nature to compare ourselves with of bullying. The old nursery rhyme, “Sticks people;
others and often we cannot resist talking and stones can break my bones but words through joining in the gossiping, they
about people. It is hard to avoid listening can never hurt me” is a lie. We need to guarantee their position or their safety
to gossip and we often find ourselves teach our children that the very best way within the group... that is, exclusion of the
participating in a good old ‘skinner’ to stop gossip and bullying is not to spread other creates inclusion for oneself;
session. But the truth of the matter it.
is, at the end of the day, it is nothing they are afraid of becoming the next target
but judgemental and disrespectful no It can have serious consequences. It by keeping the focus off themselves. If we
matter what your reasons or motives are. hurts the person being talked about and gossip about someone else, there is no

26 INTRA MUROS JUNE 2021