Page 50 - Silver Lakes_Issue 10_2022

TODAY’S CHILD

punitive discipline is a problem. Discipline Behaviour is a form of communication, Something happened before the
needs to be seen as consequential and and as such, it has a function and it bullying incident to create the need
immediate, and it must fit the crime. occurs in patterns. If we can find the to bully. When we have a behaviour,
Parenting styles should inform our strategy communication problem, we start we also have a consequence – every
on how to change bullying behaviour. dismantling the problematic behaviour. action has an equal reaction. More
That’s where the level of help is needed. often than not, the bullying behaviour
Behaviour management approach is carried out to cover up the fact that
Cognitive behavioural therapy is most • Understand how the behaviour is the child feels insecure, insignificant
commonly used to address bullying carried out. and threatened by another.
behaviours, but we seldom get the parents We approach it by understanding that
and the bully to acknowledge their bullying behaviour is created through patterns. We all have the ability to be unkind,
behaviour. Hence, we seldom see the bully Life in general comprises behavioural and perhaps even to display bullying
in therapy. patterns that produce a desired or domineering behaviours. Every
outcome. These patterns are reinforced. human being is capable of behaving in
This is unfortunate because when a For example, bullying behaviour gets an offensive manner, but some people
behaviour management approach is used reinforced because the bully gets to feel have the desire to be educated about
to address the areas that the child or teen powerful. They believe that they are it and to grow, while others choose not
is lacking in, then the manifestation of the leader, they are in charge, they are to be accountable and continue to act
bullying would be reduced. popular, etc. So, parents and teachers in unacceptable ways.
need to observe the daily behaviour of
Little can be done within the home and the the child and see what’s happening in It is not enough to support the victim
school environment to address a problem their environment – perhaps then they of the bully; we need to stop the
when the perpetrator rarely goes to can identify what triggers the negative bullying behaviour itself. We must
therapy. As a solution, we can implement behaviour. This is what will break the insist that the bully take accountability
a behaviour management approach at behaviour code. for their behaviour and stop the
school, on the sports field and at home. current way of dealing with the
However, this approach is labour-intensive • Break the behaviour code. situation, which entails understanding
and is therefore seldom applied. It takes It sounds easy enough, but it requires the behaviour but not actually
time to set up and even more time before lots of observation and understanding. preventing it from recurring.
results show.

The approach looks something like this:

• Understand the function of the
behaviour.
We need to change how we view the
child. They are no longer a bully but
a child with inappropriate behaviour.
Bullying is a desperate way of behaving,
so we need to get all the facts about o Marital, Couples & Family Therapy
the child. This requires open and o Counselling Children, Adolescents & Adults
honest talking and a great deal of
understanding. But in the moment of o “Teen” Challenges
the transgression, it is difficult not to o Behavioural & Adjustment Challenges
enter into a power struggle with the o Stress-Related Challenges
child. However, there are many reasons o Adjustment to Depression & Anxiety
for bullying and the behaviour must not o Subject & Career Psychometric Testing
be seen in isolation.
For an appointment please call
A huge effort is required to change the
system as it constantly reinforces itself. 083 3761995
Therefore, parents and teachers need to Fees are charged according to Scale of Benefits
understand that you do what you can, at
Practice Address: 27 Fish Eagle Street, Silver lakes, Pretoria
the pace you can, when you can. Change
Pr. Nr. 0860000114022 | Reg. No.: PS 0080543
will not happen overnight.

48 | INTRAMUROS NOVEMBER 2022