Page 33 - SilverLakes_Issue 2_2022

TODAY’S CHILD

Friendship problems can also occur important developmental phases along
between the children’s parents. Over- the way. They also miss out on fun social
competitive parenting can drive a wedge events such as parties or sleepovers.
between the adults as well as their
children. Over-competitive parents may Children need time to practise social skills,
no longer be able to congratulate their to learn how to set and reach goals, to
friends or friends’ children because make mistakes and build resilience, and
they won a race while their child did to develop their interests. Sometimes this
not win. Parents might even downplay may mean attending the party instead
other children’s achievements. These are of going to Saturday training. Again, it is
all behaviours that their own children about achieving balance.
observe and could ultimately adopt.
• While we strive for wins, the reality is that
• Loss of balance: Achievement pressure many lessons are best learnt in defeat.
results in children spending many hours The irony of the situation is that children, is understandable that we would like to
on training and working for a win. This and adults, learn better from a defeat. maximise what we get out of the school
leaves them with little downtime or time Defeats and mistakes create opportunities context. But if there is no time for a child
just to be kids. This results in the balance for learning and growth which are not to just be, we need to re-evaluate our
between achievement and childhood present in winning. schedules and admit to pushing the child
experience being lost. The children are too hard.
stressed and may also suffer from burnout. Stepping up to our role as parents
It may sound ridiculous, but children can As parents, the onus is on us to step back from • Encourage your child to try a variety of
experience burnout because of the undue the trap of encouraging over-competition in sports instead of specialising in one. Early
pressure placed on them to perform. childhood (and adolescence). Here are some specialisation does not necessarily produce
approaches to promote a healthy balance in sport stars. Remember that children
Many children drop out of sports by the your home: develop at different rates. Therefore, it
time they enter high school. The pressure may be the case that only after puberty
to be the best and to always win becomes • Foster positive behaviours. Children is it possible to get a solid indication of
too much. Over and above stress and develop at different rates and achieve talent or skill. There are some “child stars”
fatigue, injuries may start occurring due developmental milestones at different who can be identified early on, but they
to the child having specialised in a sport times. Chances are that the tallest child are few and far between. These so-called
too early or having over-trained. Sadly, the in the grade will be the fastest swimmer, child stars will probably not continue past
game is no longer fun and the joy of the while the boy with early onset puberty will adolescence as talented sports individuals
sport is lost. be able to throw the shot put further than because of the over-competitive context
others. But this does not mean that the of sport, which includes over-competitive
Today, many children face intense child who has not hit puberty or a growth parents, over-training at a young age and
pressure to find what they are good at spurt will not achieve this once he reaches the resultant loss of joy in the sport.
and succeed at it. Instead of taking the his own developmental milestones. It’s
time to figure out who they are and who important for parents to encourage • Promote non-competitive activities
they want to become, children are forced children to understand that everyone to balance out competitive ones.
to perform. We live in very competitive has different strengths and weaknesses Encourage your child to participate in a
times in which children may need to get and that these develop at different times range of activities such as team sports,
bursaries or scholarships, but we need in our lives. Each child needs to embrace solo activities, competitive and non-
to ensure that these pursuits do not their own journey. competitive (choir, music, art, scouts)
overshadow the pure enjoyment of sport. interests, so that the goal is not always to
Bursaries and scholarships are an added • Do something other than competitive win. Encourage your child to participate in
bonus, but they are not the ultimate goal sport. Make time for family, friends and these activities even if they are “not good”
of sport participation. relaxation. Strive for balance. at them. Foster the idea of “don’t hesitate,
participate” – this entails trying something
• Fast tracking: When kids are consistently • Resist the urge to fill each afternoon with that you are not automatically good at.
forced to excel, they race through structured activities. As parents, we pay How do we know what we are good at if
childhood, potentially missing out on a lot in school fees and extramurals, so it we have not tried many things?

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