Page 33 - Intra Muros September 2023
P. 33
TODAY’S CHILD
BUILDING COMPETENCE AND RESILIENCE
IN ADOLESCENTS
By Dr Ilse Ruane
ompetence is the ability of having Unfortunately, we cannot protect our teens they face. In addition, the entire family will
sufficient knowledge, judgement, from the consequences of their actions, be able to use experiences, whether positive
Cskill or strength to be able to but we can assist them in becoming or negative, as life lessons and skills-building
perform a task safely. Resilience is defined competent. The way in which we respond exercises.
as the capacity to withstand hardship or and the support we offer a young person
to recover quickly from difficulties. can make all the difference to the aftermath So, how exactly can you as a parent help your
of an event, so the event can turn out to children navigate uncharted territory? Here
For me, these terms also include the be life-altering or a valuable life lesson for are some suggestions:
process after bouncing back from the teenager. Our approach can also make
adversity – which, in turn, includes it easier for our teenagers to bounce back. 1. Listen to your child’s concerns
acquiring life skills as well as new and Listening shows parental love and acceptance
improved strategies that we can draw on Our children listen to our words, notice of your child, and it can help them work
in the future. Also embedded in these our stress levels and watch what we do. through a problem. Understand that teens
terms is the idea of adapting. Without Feeling secure and connected to parents, react to challenges differently from adults.
adapting properly, a person cannot grow family members, teachers, friends or the Their timing in terms of having a discussion
into a capable individual. surrounding community is the greatest with you about something is unpredictable,
protection children have. It builds their so be aware of when a conversation is
So, when it comes to building competence resilience in the here and now as well as opening up.
and resilience in adolescents, and to into the future.
helping them process situations, the most Also, if you as the parent feel there is an
important determinant of their success With a support system in place for them, issue that needs to be discussed, start the
is the presence of a loving adult who is parents will be able to keep negative beliefs conversation. Ask your teen what they
physically and emotionally available to to a minimum, calm fears, debunk ideas understand about the issue and what
them. Teens rely on parents, teachers about what’s normal and pull together as questions or concerns they have. Depending
or carers to help them work out how to a family. This will help a teen to bounce on the family dynamics, you can start the
interpret events. back and even grow from the challenges process or wait for your child to do so.
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