Page 39 - Waterfall City July Issue 2023

PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES

IS WHAT TEENS ARE

SUPPOSED TO DO

By Dr Ilse Ruane

W e often hear adults

describe teenagers
this way: “Teenagers
are difficult; they
hate their parents; they don’t
listen; they can’t be trusted.”

While many parents will agree
wholeheartedly with those descriptions,
it’s important for you to be aware that the
true nature of your teen is somewhere in
between the fiery independence-seeking
person and the fragile little child. It may
be challenging for you to see this, but
the fact is, your teen is the same person
they have always been – a loving, caring,
kind person who desires connection,
understanding and support.

Teenagers go through big changes and
do not have a map on how or where to
go. Today’s parents have teenage maps
that are outdated, so they often struggle
to grasp where their teenager is coming
from.

It’s important to understand that the way
we adults look at our teen’s behaviour,
actions, thoughts, outbursts, etc. is
evaluated from our subjective adult
mindset. This mindset has decades of
knowledge informing it, but we often
fail to realise that teens have a fraction of
the information and experience at their
disposal to use.

Even parents who realise this often
miss the opportunity of relaying
their experience and information as
guidance. Instead, they carry it across as
instructions, lectures and ultimatums,
which teens automatically distance
themselves from, no matter how good
the information actually is.
PHOTO BY JAKOB ROSEN
Waterfall City Issue 7 2023 37