Page 27 - Silver Lakes January Issue 2023

TODAY’S CHILD

PREPARING FOR 2023

By Dr Ilse Ruane

ow do we start afresh in 2023 after place again. Change can also mean moving enrich your life – people who share your
the rollercoaster ride of 2022? on. Quit the boring job, the abusive values and views and want nothing more
HHow do we leave the past behind relationship, the past. from you than to add value to each other’s
us – a past littered with Covid-19 and its lives.
consequences – and move forward? The trick to moving on is not closing
oneself off to new experiences and new 2. Unpack and build
In many ways, 2022 has felt as if we have people. The idea of accepting someone It may be that in order to ignite a bigger
all been thrown into the deep end and been new can be daunting because you have a change, all you need to do is shift some
expected to know how to swim. We need to history and are not too keen on inviting in small, unconscious behaviours and
find ways to re-energise in order to create a new set of problems. However, too often thoughts. Before engaging in a bigger
a better life for ourselves come 2023, with we unconsciously reject other people change, start by unpacking the habit. Small
deeper meaning, broader experiences and based on our history, not theirs with us, or moves (or baby steps) are easier to do and
more fulfilment. we reject them out of fear of being hurt to monitor. Just scaffold small victory over
again. Be careful not to put a label on small victory. You will soon be there.
The idea of starting afresh is a constant every person you meet. Don’t assume you
process. My clients, and I, have started know beforehand who they are, what they As hard as it may be to understand and
afresh many times because, whether we do and how they can interact with you. accept, we are living huge parts of our life
like it or not, change is the only permanent New friends may not behave in the same on autopilot, habitually. So, unpacking a
thing in our lives. Here are some points of ways that the friends you said goodbye to habit will only take you halfway. From there,
departure that have come to light during did. you should aim to build new, more useful
people’s experiences of embracing a new or productive behaviours and thoughts. By
start: Sometimes we need to learn to accept consciously choosing a new behaviour or
defeat. The friendship or relationship is thought, old ones will be negated.
1. The only constant in life is change over, so move on. Yes, it hurts. Yes, you
First up is accepting change. It may be a case lost something, or somebody, your hopes We may also be solving the wrong problem
of simply accepting that you are no longer are broken and maybe your heart as well. or be attempting to break the wrong habit,
the person you used to be. You have changed. Close the chapter and move on to writing behaviour or thought. That’s why we need
The people around you have changed. The the next chapter. Rewrite your social life at to focus on what matters. As humans, we
world has changed fundamentally. You may a much deeper level. By this I mean seek tend to get lost in the details and we end
find that you are no longer attracted to the out old and new friends and people who up solving the wrong problems. Try not to
things you found appealing previously. Your
goals have changed.

Friendships can change. We often find
ourselves questioning why we have stayed in
the same friendships for so long. The answer
is simply that people change and along with
that, sometimes the friendship is no longer
rewarding. Therefore, it becomes necessary
to walk away. The idea of springcleaning
friendships need not mean purging all the
old friends, but rather, assessing who adds
value to your life and/or your family’s lives,
as opposed to who brings drama.

Embrace the process of change and look
forward to what awaits you. As hard as it
may seem in the beginning, you will be
surprised at how fast things will fall into

INTRAMUROS JANUARY 2023 | 25