Page 33 - Silver Lakes July Issue 2024

TODAYS CHILD

half of the comment. We should aim to
not only teach our children to say, “stop
excluding Sarah”, we also need to clarify
why – “because it is unkind.”
By linking the unacceptable behaviour
to a value, not only does the value get
reinforced, but space is also created
to keep your child away from the
people involved. This externalises all
the participants and they’re able to re-
evaluate their own behaviour.
• Help your child to see the bigger picture
more clearly. There is nothing wrong
with them; the situation is a reflection
on the other children (the bully/
excluder), it is not a reflection on your
child. If your child is being victimised,
a sure way the behaviour will continue
is if they give it attention. Starve it
of attention and reaction, and the I am not denying this reality exists, but Only the strongest people can be kind. Let’s
behaviour will change and eventually there are situations where such thoughts actively instil characteristics and values in our
cease or the bully or excluder will and behaviours are not acceptable. It is children such as kindness and humility, because
move on. However, this doesn’t always easy to subscribe to the brutal, harsh and this is how we heal the “mean girls” and “brutal
happen. A bully may persist, so monitor unkind ways of being. Kindness is often boys” culture. We pause, we include, we care
the situation carefully and, if need be, viewed as a weakness. Not so. I propose for, we empower, and we positively regard
take immediate action to stop this that kindness requires the ultimate level our boys and girls. We do not accept the
despicable behaviour. of strength, resilience, intentionality, unacceptable. We model this in how we treat
• Teach your child to name what is confidence and security in a person. To others. We become the pockets of resistance
happening and to speak up for the be kind is not to be naive. to any and all unkind behaviour.
injustices they observe. It’s better not
to remain silent and be an accomplice.
Foster the idea of being an upstander
and not a bystander. I love asking
children: “What behaviour would make
you most proud in this situation?” It gives
them the position of being proactive and
intentional in their behaviour.
• Advocate for and alongside your
child in situations that require adult o Marital, Couples & Family Therapy
intervention. Perhaps the most difficult o Counselling Children, Adolescents & Adults
thing for a parent to do is to not act out
of fear or anger, but to stay calm and o “Teen” Challenges
lead by example. Teach your child to o Behavioural & Adjustment Challenges
wait, discern and watch. o Stress-Related Challenges
• Most importantly, teach and practise
o Adjustment to Depression & Anxiety
kindness in your home and in every
interaction with others, so that your o Subject & Career Psychometric Testing
children can view first-hand what
kindness is, as well as the effects and For an appointment please call
rewards that kindness brings.
083 376 1995
Our children are being raised in a world Fees are charged according to Scale of Benefits
where they are flooded with inputs regarding Practice Address: 27 Fish Eagle Street, Silver lakes, Pretoria
the “eat or be eaten” and “hurt them before Pr. Nr. 0860000114022 | Reg. No.: PS 0080543
they hurt you” nature of the world.

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