Page 35 - Intra Muros April 2024
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TODAYS CHILD


        •  Peer pressure from other parents   •  Increased anxiety:  Over-parenting  is   The effects of air-fryer parenting
          compels  us  to  do  the  same  and   associated with higher levels of anxiety   Air-fryer  parenting  is  an  unsuccessful
          avoid  mistakes  and  failures.  We  can   and depression.              dance  between  being  overinvolved  and
          easily  feel  that  we  are  bad  parents  if                           letting go. It stems from a point of fear and
          we don’t immerse ourselves in our   •  Sense  of  entitlement:  Children  who   desperation in the parent. When you use
          children’s  lives.  Guilt  is  a  significant   have always had their social, academic,   an  intense,  then  back-off-again  approach
          factor  in  this  dynamic.  This  may   and  athletic  lives  adjusted  by  their   as  a  parenting  style,  it  often  solves  your
          lead  to  overcompensation,  where   parents  can  become  accustomed  to   short-term problem of controlling children.
          excessive attention and monitoring may   always  having  their  way,  resulting  in  a   These  types  of  parents  can  initially  get
          sometimes attempt to remedy failures.  sense of entitlement.            the  compliance  they  are  looking  for.  But
                                                                                  it  comes  at  a  cost.  It  may  lead  to  severe
        The effects of helicopter parenting   •  Undeveloped life skills: Parents who   problems for children and how they grow
        Many  helicopter  parents  start  with  good   always  tie  shoes,  clear  plates,  pack   up to deal with the adult world. Too often,
        intentions.  It  is  a  tricky  line  to  find,  to   lunches,  launder  clothes,  and  monitor   it  leads  children  to  be  victims  because
        be  engaged  with  our  children  and  their   school   progress,   especially   when   that’s  the  role  they’ve  been  assigned  in
        lives  but  not  so  embedded  that  we  lose   children  are  mentally  and  physically   their  family,  or  they  can  be  oppositional
        perspective  on  what  they  need.  Engaged   capable  of  doing  the  task,  prevent   and  demanding  because  that’s  what
        parenting  has  many  benefits  for  a  child,   children from mastering these skills.  was  modelled  for  them  by  their  parents.
        such  as  feelings  of  love  and  acceptance,                            Neither role increases the child’s chance
        better  self-confidence  and  opportunities   HELICOPTER PARENTS:         of developing their potential and creating
        to grow. However, the problem is that once   •  Lectures every chance they get.   a successful life.
        parenting becomes governed by fear and   •  Does their child’s work for them?
        decisions  based  on  what  might  happen,   •  Decides who their child has   You can’t force your child into good
                                                friendships with.
        it’s hard to remember what children learn                                 behaviour  through  reactive  responses.
                                              •  Forces their child into hobbies.
        when we are not guiding each step. Failure                                Over-the-top intense reactions followed by
                                              •  Bans social media and technology.
        and challenges teach children new skills                                  withdrawal just end up in a power struggle.
        and, most importantly, teach children that   [ Leads to anxious teens.    The  key  is  to  give  children  consequences
        they can handle failure and challenges.                                   that  work.  The  right  consequences

        The  effects  of  helicopter  parenting  are   THE “AIR-FRYER PARENT”
        widespread but may include consequences   Air-fryer  parents  are  either  completely
        such as the following.               switched off or blasting intense heat. This
                                             intense  heat  causes  a  protective  crispy
        •  Decreased confidence and self-esteem:   crust  to  form  around  their  children.  This
          The  main  problem  with  helicopter   form  of  parenting  might  be  considered
          parenting  is  that  it  backfires.  The   healthier  than  helicopter  parenting
          underlying message sent to the child is,   since  they  do  not  use
          ‘My parent doesn’t trust me to do this   conventional methods. Still,
          on my own.’ This message, in turn, leads   it  ends  up  being  just
          to a lack of confidence.           as bad for the child
                                             as for everyone
        •  Undeveloped coping skills: If the parent   else in the family
          is always there to clean up a child’s mess   system.   It’s
          or prevent the problem in the first place,   an  aggressive
          how  does  the  child  ever  learn  to  cope   approach   but
          with disappointment, loss, or failure? As   ineffective  at  cleaning  up
          a result, helicopter parenting can lead to   your  child’s  messes  because
          maladaptive  behaviours,  such  as  it  can   it  propels  the  child  forward
          impair  their  child’s  ability  to  regulate   at a high intensity and then
          emotions and behaviour.            withdraws, leaving them lost.


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